Reply To: Reflections on what I have learnt so far…..

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#10440
Mo
Participant

Wow! So much information Judith and Louise. I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said Judith, about the scales and the fear of gaining weight. I’m still obese (just) but I was 2 stone heavier than I am now. Gradually over the last 5 years I’ve managed to lose 2 stone through compliance and restrictions and rules of various diets. But in the last 12 months I’ve maintained this weight through abstinence mainly due to sugar addiction and candida issues. Holidays are the worst for me as everything goes out of the window and I overeat even if I make myself ill.

In May I decided to do this course. I was and still am sick of the self imposed rules I give myself. So I thought this would help me unpack my issues. But the fear of gaining weight was so strong after completing the course the first time that I returned to restrictions and rules, compliance and rebelling as a way to control my weight. I resisted working through my AD. I felt if I worked through it I couldn’t have what I wanted. So didn’t let myself work through it.

So here I am back again. I know why this hasn’t worked for me so this time I’ll revisit the course and allow myself to work through my AD.
Like Gillian said today, I will work on acceptance and look at non-weight motivation. I have to work on letting weight and appearance go. I’ve known this for awhile and am taking steps to focus on health issues rather than scales and numbers. I’m determined at 57 years old to start living my life without the scales ruling me.

I like the fact Judith you are very active in your fell walking and weightlifting. That’s one thing I really want to do…improve my fitness. I am going to really try to do that.

Great post..Thank you for sharing