Thank you Gillian for your reply.
I can relate to the mindset response to weighing on the scales. I have experienced both scenarios.
1) oh I’ve lost weight, I’m doing ok I can have a treat!
2) I’ve stayed the same and I’ve been ‘good’ and followed my plan – this isnt working, I might as well eat what I want
3) I’ve put on weight, well that’s because I’ve eaten xyz I can’t do this, I’m a failure I might as well eat!
These are all real situations that I have been through whenever I’ve restricted my eating. You are absolutely right. I’ve denied my freedom of choice.
Over this last week my stomach has been a bit off and I found myself really acknowledging my freedom of choice. “I can eat that but if I do I will feel ill”.
Today has been the first day I’ve felt ok so I have eaten more but I have chosen freely. I decided not to have a sweet treat tonight. My husband was having one and normally I’d say oh yes, go on then I’ll have one. But this time I said no, I’m going to save it for tomorrow when I really want it. I recognised my decision as a huge positive step to freely choosing and working through my AD.
Another thing I have learnt is that I can eat sugar….I CAN EAT SUGAR. I am not actually intolerant of it like I thought I was. The acknowledgement of saying yes I can eat it has allowed me to choose freely with no restrictions or denial.
I don’t know if this makes sense but to me it’s a significant change.