Barb,
“But I think I have this “good girl” mentality, that if I choose to act on the addictive desire, I’m somehow failing, and perhaps that indicates there’s still some lack of choice thoughts there.”
Perhaps – to some extent – any time we act on addictive desire we will be ‘failing’ in our attempt to eat less? Check that it’s fine with you to fail a bit sometimes (ie not see perfection or 100% abstinence as the ideal) and check that the degree to which you’re failing works for you.
So – not necessarily a lack of choice there, I don’t think. And do continue to ‘fail’ enough to induce that stronger addictive desire so that it too can be desensitised, defused and diminished.