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Hi Ellen and Gillian!
Ellen, it happens the same thing to me! This is my 3rd time taking the course, is not that I do 100% everytime, but I keep in touch with all the content and I keep thinking and improving my way of eating, and my relationship with my body and food. I realized that every time I started the course and was more in contact with the material and content, I began to eat more and worse; than when I stay away from the videos and the forum. As it happens with diets (in a different way of course).
On the one hand, I want to lose weight, on the other hand I don’t want to pay attention to that. I want to eat less for the benefits related to not weight motivation, but I end up thinking that if I eat less I will lose weight. And a part of me does the opposite, and ends up eating more. I think sometimes I fail at choice. It is a mixture of everything that fails I would say… motivation, choice, desire, perfectionist all-nothing mindset.
Now I know it´s a process.. and I know Im in a better position that I was in may when Ive started the course for the first time. But I still have things to learn and to put into practice.