Your story is amazing!
Allowing the AD does feel hard in the beginning because, and I will speak for myself, it was such a strong habit. When the desire and urges struck me in the past, I automatically reacted to them and ate in response to quiet the urge. In effect, I strengthened that pattern. If I ever did try to “resist” the urges, my brain did not like that, and so it threw tantrum after tantrum until I complied.
It’s so inspirational to hear your success and reminds me that this method really does work. It works for me, but for some reason I can easily forget that it works, so reminders are always helpful.
Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself some grace. Not to downplay your “jumping on the scale” behavior, but here’s another way to look at it. Perhaps you can do what Gillian suggests by adding new thoughts to that behavior. You could tell yourself, “ok, so I jumped on the scale the morning after working through desire, hoping to see a change in the number, but what I really did change was my behavior by successfully working through the AD three times! Yeah me!” Or something like that. No scale can measure that success!
Glad you are feeling better.