Reply To: Strengthening the motivation (especially non-weight!)

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Sophia G.

Hi Caroline, Just to say that you are not, not, not stupid for not internalising the so-called first step. It’s not actually the first step,is it?

My understanding is that it’s part of a large picture, one of the 3 main themes. It’s written first in the way that list is presented, and yes it’s the first thing Gillian presented on this course, but it’s not like it’s the first step really.

Motivation in anything in life is really important, but in this respect other overlapping things are just as important to remember too.

None of us here is stupid just because we have problems in this area of eating. I’m always amazed the way we tend to put ourselves down because of this problem, when in reality we are very capable people, running our families, often with good jobs, good relationships, sorting the mortgage, the rent, whatever, all that.. and then there’s this one hated area of eating and weight and all this where we fall down, and then we think we’re complete failures but really we really are not.

For me, and most of us here I imagine, this difficulty is the major challenge of our life to date, especially if we’re a bit older like me and it’s so long term. So it’s like holding an egg up in front of our eyes, where it’s so close it looks enormous because it blocks everything else out of sight.

Whereas in reality I bet you are a really very capable and successful in life woman. I bet you are.

I wouldn’t want to comment on the other things you say about, as I feel I can’t really clearly know enough – I’m not thru the tunnel yet, and I really don’t know enough to comment.

But you’re in the right place, in this group, under Gillian’s highly expert and experienced wing, to address this stuff. This is the best place you can be right now.

But I do remember something Gillian said recently on this forum, to the effect that you can still have your weight loss motivation, and add on other motivations too. I would sit down with a piece of paper and make a list of other motivations. I find this helps me think about things. No one ever taught me how to think. Lists and stuff helps me.

And remember we are all do small steps, baby steps, when we start this work.
And you may feel different in a day or two, or an hour or two, or in 10 minutes! Things change so fast. Our emotions change so fast. I first came across Gillian’s approach some years ago, and it has taken me a while to accept some stuff, to really engage in some key techniques. Sometimes it takes a long while, and then things click, like when you learned to drive or etc. You may make a breakthrough tomorrow, or today, or in one minute from now, and then everything will be better, rosier.

Just making one ‘small’ realisation can make all the difference, to know you are moving forward, even if seems slowly.

I hope this is okay and not inappropriate. As I said, I don’t feel in a position to make suggestions much, but I do feel ok sharing what I just did.

You certainly have some physical challenges, and worries, from what you say.
But you are aware of it all, and you are Here, on this really good course, which is in itself really miraculous really, considering how much useless and downright daft stuff there is Out There, and yet we somehow all found our way here. And took it seriously enough to sign up and pay up, which is a commitment in itself to this approach even if we are finding the hard places, which is where we will break through eventually.

So I would just hang on in there, and try to engage in some way here that will help you, which you are in fact doing by following the forum and watching the videos.
You very much are on the journey, so please don’t call yourself stupid, when you’ve tracked down this important approach, looked at it, considered it, and signed up to it, on the computer you capably worked, with the cash which you very capably gained. Sounds pretty damn intelligent to me.

God, sorry this is so long. !!

  • This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by Sophia G.. Reason: typo