Thank you, Gillian.
My apologies for not giving more information.
The idea was to stop fasting for 16-21 hours and trying to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. The initial plan also involved using a big plate that I could fill with food and have a piece of fruit after that. Now that I write it down, I see it might have been too much of a change and that I skipped some of your recommendations like ‘do it for now’ without thinking about later and leave room for choice. I set out the plan for the whole week as if it were a diet.
And yes, I meant to last. Another mistake, I see.
The thing is that since Monday I start eating breakfast but I keep on eating between meals until food is gone. I wouldn’t say I graze or snack, I eat huge amounts of anything. For instance, today I ate 500 grams of steel cut dry oatmeal (a bit more than a pound), two kilos of apples, some carrots and ten small microwaved potatoes. I started at 9,00 meaning just to have breakfast, but just ten minutes ago had the last remaining apple.
Regarding addictive desire, I practiced on working through it during the first week and it went really well (my first week was the course second week, I got wrong how the course was meant to be done). Then, last week I started not to be able to resist (I know this is not the wording I should be using, but that is how it feels to me) and in the middle of working through it or after working through it successfully for several times between meals or after a meal, I would follow my addictive desire and eat.
And today I am having a real bad day, I don’t notice the addictive desire, I just grab whatever and eat.
Hope this is a bit clearer.