Reply To: Addictive desire

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Hi Ciara, I know where you are coming from. I’m trying to let go of perfectionist thinking with lots of rules and restrictions that I have put in place too. Friday and Saturday nights are when I usually rebel against all those rules and this is when I tend to overeat, snacking all night and this is when I struggle. So I am working on this and last night I ate a large meal for dinner and felt full afterwards and decided that at some point in the future I would like to work on reducing the portion sizes but for now I was just focusing on reducing my snacks at the moment. So later on in the evening the crisps came round and I took a few and ate maybe 5 of them but I stopped myself and thought ‘no, I’m not going to do this, this is just my addictive appetite and expectation’ so I stopped eating them and worked through it. Then my other half decided to crack open the box of really nice chocolates and hand them out. Again, I managed to work through this using the techniques. Plus I chose not to have a drink of aclcohol too but if I wanted to I could have, I wasn’t too hard on myself about that, it was the snacking that I was working on. So I had a large meal (with wheat which is usually the start of my rebellion as i try not to eat this but I chose to eat it on this occasion) and 5 crisps but I would have eaten the large meal, plus the crisps (more than 5), plus the chocolate and not forgetting the alcohol on top in an act of rebellion because my thinking would be ‘well I’ve already blown it’. That to me is a huge success. It’s not perfect, I broke 3 of my rules that I would normally set myself, (eating wheat, feeling too full and eating 5 crisps that I shouldn’t have) but I didn’t rebel, I worked through my desire and I managed to eat a lot less than I usually do which is a huge improvement so I am really pleased with my progress. I didn’t realise how much my perfectionism was setting me up for failure every time, so I’m settling for improvement 🙂