Thanks Gillian. I feel reassured that you have come to the same conclusion as to what is going on.
What has struck me is the lack of self-compassion that I have for myself. I feel as if I have done something terribly wrong, which I can see on reflection after talking to you, is undeserving of such guilt. When I make a food choice to eat something that isn’t good for me, I really make myself feel bad about it. I let myself choose but I beat myself up about it after, I certainly don’t forgive myself for making a poor choice, which can leave me feeling that I don’t have much of a choice at all. It’s like I am saying, I can eat the chocolate, but I am going to beat myself up all day because I am not really allowed to do that. Is this where I am denying choice? I know you said that guilt may be an outcome, a consequence of my food choices, but by giving myself a really hard time about it, is it a case of bullying myself back into compliance and ultimately denying choice? Do I need to tell myself that I can overeat and I don’t have to beat myself up about it afterwards – it is my choice?
I will keep an eye on the ingredients list too, thanks for that.