Is it a case of bullying myself back into compliance and ultimately denying choice? YES!
Do I need to tell myself that I can overeat and I don’t have to beat myself up about it afterwards – it is my choice? YES!
It’s a fine line to walk, though, a matter of degree, because some amount of guilt is appropriate and even helpful because it’s feedback letting you know you’re off course. It seems to me that you’d do well to ease up on yourself.