Thank you for your reply, Gillian.
To answer your question, I forget to ask myself how I will feel afterwards. And if I was to answer it now, I feel absolutely wonderful and content upon having a cake. It is only afterwards when I have trouble fitting into my biggest clothes or look into the mirror that I start feeling remorse and regret about the way I eat.
I seem to comprehend all the harm I am causing myself with every extra bite, but were it not showing in my face, size and shape I could still live with it. I do not want to wait for the serious health issues to make me find my true non-weight motivation. So far it was the higher level of energy I’ve had earlier in the course, but somehow I manage to go on my current one satisfactorily.
Thank you once again for all your patience with it, as it is really frustrating to be very well aware of the harm done and still go on with the self-destructive behaviour.