Nicola, I do like the way you’re thinking here, especially your curiosity about what’s going on. That continual state of rebellion is a nasty place to be. I hope you read Sarah’s recent post about how she’s feeling as a result of grasping more of a sense of freedom.
In Session 3 on Sunday (tomorrow) I will be explaining how your brain creates that trance state – and what to do about it. So not long to wait 🙂