Lucy, thanks too for your comment.
You say it’s quite hard to know if you’re truly giving yourself free choice. May I suggest you review the exercises at the end of Week 1: Exploring Choice, Parts A and B. And at the end of Week 3: Exploring Freedom.
For example, just a few days ago you posted that you really do believe that you “can’t go on like this”. This is your denial of free choice. I know you don’t want to go on like this – but knowing that you could will make the crucial difference.
Maybe you can re-evaluate some of your answers in these exercises at some point?