Reply To: not perfect but on the way

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Thanks for the encouragement-just by talking about the real process of working through desire and the pulls to make choices in old ways… I went to a book group last night where every single time in the past I’ve overeaten on whatever treat someone makes (so book group has come to mean I’ll feel a bit (or a lot) physically wrecked the next day! Last night I walked up the stairs saying to myself ‘I can have it if I really want it, I can eat more than one if I want, etc.’ I almost needed to decide ahead of time that I was going to eat a treat, but the goal was moderation.

Gillian, this doesn’t really feel like the process we’re talking about with you. I tried thinking about waiting to see if I actually wanted the treat, but I was aware of feeling locked in to it. The good news: I ate only one, tried to focus on enjoying it, AND refused an offer to take extra home. Good news for sure, I don’t feel sick or hazy this morning. The perfectionist voice though says I should be able to know more in the moment what I want-don’t think I really did want that cake. I still felt overpowered in some way.

But maybe that was my version of a plan last night?? On I go on this non-linear (for me) path! I like the posts if other people want to, it helps keep me engaged with the process. Thanks, all.