Gillian, I guess I wasn’t clear. I’m not saying “it” is the food. What I’m referring to as “it” is the urge and noticing it. So basically, I don’t want to acknowledge the craving/desire because I’m afraid then I’d be making it real and feeling like I should work on it. I guess it’s like “keeping my head in the sand”? I get a huge urge to binge and try to do it fast and almost without thinking because I fear if I slow down and pause, then I’ll come to my senses. Hope that makes a little more sense.
Like when you know you shouldn’t do something and it’s not good for you (going gambling, blowing money on something dumb, etc), so you hurry and do it before anyone can say anything or you come to your senses and change your mind. That’s a little of what I do.