Yes, I for sure know how you feel. Hang in there, Liz! I appreciate Esther’s reminder about needing to ‘go through these processes to learn or find out for ourselves.’ There might be some rationalizing for myself in this, but I really do believe it’s going to take quite a few trials and errors (understatement!:) for me to really, finally let the pattern go. I know I’ll always ‘make a mistake’ and eat in a way I wish I hadn’t. Letting the pattern go, for me, means catching how I feel after I’ve eaten it, consciously choosing a strategy to eat healthfully again without trashing myself. Being more neutral and forgiving. Like, oops! That will take awhile and, for me, lots of repetition before I’ve got it ground in. I too had a birthday with cake that turned into more last weekend. The negative impact was pretty amazing. I’ve been more anxious, work has been harder, I’ve been more stuck in my head, down on myself, etc. Goal: to really REALLY know ahead of time that I’m choosing all that along with the second piece of cake and what came after. You’re not alone! Try to be gentle and remind yourself this is a new way of thinking and it will take time to make these shifts (or at least I’m trying to say it to myself!). Even small changes, every single time I can remind myself of the true choice is a victory! I’m definitely doing the course again to help me along. Thanks so much for both your posts!