I know I’m going to have to face off a lot of internal resistance to overcome and take control of my addictive eating patterns as they’ve been embedded so long. Sabotaging behaviour has been kicking in this week. ‘Owning’ feels like such a powerful word at the moment as I’m deep down scared of taking control of something I’m so attached to and have relied on to ‘stay safe’/self-limit. I know my subconscious has been resisting it (avoidance, mindless, impulsive eating some days). It’s like I want to self sabotage more because Gillian’s approach on choice is making sense. I know this has been discussed in another post but in terms of the meaning of owning choice instead I’ve been saying:
‘If I acknowledge my choice about what I eat…’
‘If I recognise my choice about what I eat…’
saying these feels gentler and makes me feel I’m honouring myself as part of the decision. I know it’s just playing with meaning but feeling my way and paying attention to what my head/mind is saying/doing seems they key thing right now to stick with the moment and extend thoughts to the outcome of my choice as that’s the more difficult part to take on.