Hi Jessica, I think this is really a hard thing to handle.. I used to have kinda the same problem with my husband, and when I tried to explain him my problem, he didnt understand it and also he didnt help at all. For him it´s easy to solve: “its willpower, eat less and move more”. I used to feel really bad with myself because he also judge me if I ate the same things he ate. For him it was “im not doing anything at all to change”. With my family is the same thing.
For them I have to be eating salad and chicken in all my meals, so if they see me doing that it´s like IM DOING SOMETHING.
And doing that or any diet is being in the same cirlcle, and even worst because you keep feeding that thoughts and actions.
Maybe you can tell him, that is not good for you and your selfsteem that he make any comment or judgement about what you eat and do not eat, because you feel judged or not loved the way you are, or accepted.
And that you know he tries to help you when he said that things to you, but tell him that he doesnt help. Maybe you need to be accepted and you need compasion. (im telling you this not because I think you need this, because I dont really know you, just because Ive realized that is what I need, so maybe it helps for you).
I dont know what Gillian recommend in this cases, but I´ve told her about my family and she told me to said to them that they are not helping with some comments.
Or maybe tell him that you are going to a psychologist or something, to try to solve this situation. Without explaining too much, but let him know that you are doing something about this situation you have.