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Gillian thank you for the book reference.
And I’ve studied the work of Kristen Neff and find it so powerful, I’ve even taken her classes, used it with my students. Louise I think you’re really onto some great stuff there, on your own. But I second Gillian’s rec to check out Kristen Neff who makes a great case for the power of self compassion.
She has many great TED talks, free resources on her website, etc.