Reply To: Watching my A/D

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#8431
Louise
Participant

Thanks Julie – I am enjoying the progress I’ve made, but still have a way to go, and it has not always been easy. I realised doing this course that although I have been only marginally overweight for much of my life, I have been addicted to food and eating secretly and bingeing since I was a child. Realising that was a big breakthrough for me, and it feels as if I am finally (at age 63!) putting that right.

Sarah, what I understand by aversion is when I have eaten such a huge quantity of food, especially junk food, I get to a point when I literally cannot face the idea of eating or even looking at food. Maybe this is the mind’s way of keeping me alive! Usually this is a sense of mental repulsion at the very thought of eating, but other times aversion appears physically as a very bad migraine, which will last for three days, during which time I cannot eat at all. In really bad times, this would happen 2 or 3 times a month, and oddly it probably helped to keep my weight down. But of course it also made me very unhappy and unwell, and when I felt better, it wasn’t long before I was bingeing again, and back to the same cycle of behaviour.

Hope that is helpful. I am still learning, and it has taken time and effort to get to this point, but I can really see that it was never really about weight, only about overeating.