Liz!!!!!!!! I can relate to ALL of this. In particular, that the struggle is my comfort zone.
And your list of what you do NOT want to be doing in a year really moved me. I’m going to riff on it for a bit:
If I don’t make changes in the moment, nothing changes!
I do not want to be rewatching videos, listening to podcasts, spending all my free time thinking about and learning about how to not overeat in a year from now.
I do not want to have my 16 year old daughter to continue to see me struggle with this.
I do not want to feel afraid to travel, go on trips, live a full life.
Taking a stand is DOING the work, which I am re-committing to doing.
Feeling uncomfortable and not taking the easy route.