Hi Guadalupe, was sorry to hear you’re finding it hard. As others have said, that all-or-nothing mindset is hard to break out of – it’s what most of us have been doing for years. As Julie says, you have already come a long way, so don’t lose heart.
I think it might also help if you use the mp3 recording Gillian made for us, right at the moment you feel your addictive desire. I have had huge surges in my addictive desire since Sunday’s webinar, and there are two chocolate bars that my neighbour gave me in my cupboard as I type. I had an incredibly strong desire for them yesterday, several times. Going through my desire myself wasn’t really working and I felt very conflicted about whether I was making a real choice to accept my desire, or just abstaining.
I got Gillian’s recording (it’s on my phone) and listened to it using my earphones. It worked ever so well – there are things in the recording, like feeling the desire in your body, that I hadn’t been paying attention to. Gillian’s voice is very calming! And lots of reminders that feeling the desire is not so bad really – and feeling it paves the way to not eating addictively. I want to stop eating addictively more than I want chocolate! I listened to the recording about 5 times throughout the day and it helped me stay on track.
I think it takes time to develop the skill of choosing to experience and feel your desire instead of overeating. I have been doing this for quite a long time, but I feel I have pretty much nailed it now. I am not pushing myself to make many more changes, because my eating has improved so much, and I feel so much better. I don’t think I have lost weight, but that doesn’t matter. I have got the tools and skills I need to eat well and healthily, and to me that is a great gift, for which I will always be grateful to Gillian.
So I encourage everyone to keep going, to watch the videos, make notes and don’t give up. It really does work if you apply the technique consistently, moment by moment, while keeping your focus in your non weight motivation, and making progress just one step at a time.