I wanted to share notes from my one on one session with Gillian. Others may get benefit or learn from my learning.
The reason for my call: I had a very intense desire, at least a 10 on a scale of 1-10! It was very disturbing to me. I shared with Gillian my goal is to be at peace with food. Having this intense desire resulting in me eating a candy bar and a piece of cinnamon toast upset me. At the time of eating those foods, I did not care about outcomes, or about working thru the desire. I only wanted sugar. That upset me too! I was not using or reaching for my tools that I have learned.
Gillian pointed out, in order to be a peace with food I need to be flexible. Going with the ebb and flow, knowing atypical situations happen. She recommended the next time I eat a food that is not part of my plan/regular diet, something out of the blue: Observe. What happened afterward? And not attaching a high level of anxiety with that.
She pointed out, that wanting to be at peace all the time is unreasonable.
Being flexible = will bring me peace.
Being rigid will not bring me peace.
She kindly gave me the example of someone that meditates. That person is more calm, more relaxed. However this person is not walking around in this state every second of the day. If they lost their credit card they would likely freak out.
I reflected on our session and realized we have donuts in our home 4-5 times a year. This past week I had one and then made the choice I did not want to continue eating that type of food. Please know, not long ago I ate half or 6 out of the 8 in the box. I could not keep my hands off of anything with sugar and fat. I realize I am in awesome place! And I know the next time there is an addictive food I may have two, who knows? I am okay with that! And I just want to observe and think, how did that make me feel, with no judgment.
My aim is to overeat less—I certainly am doing that!
My aim is not to never overeat.
Gillian says this is all about being good enough, not perfect!
Please know I do not feel I have nailed it! When I have taken that stand in the past it has come back to bite me in the backside. For me this is about relaxing, knowing there will be times when I want or see a food out of the blue. I don’t have to go thru the steps of desire every time. It is not about doing it 100%. She has told us that over and over—it is about overeating less often! My session resulted in a significant learning for me.
This is why I recommend one on one sessions. It can be very difficult to address some issues via the forum or the course.