Reply To: Tolerating discomfort

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Julia R

Louise, You are an inspiration! I especially like your statement about naming the AD and having it “ground” you!

I will attempt to explain “why isn’t this behind me” comment.

We did a one on one about three weeks ago. At that moment I was very fearful of embracing my AD. I don’t remember what the fear was but it likely does not matter because it was probably irrational. After our session I had an AD in the evening while watching TV. I told my husband I needed 6 minutes and we paused the show and I did the MP3. And my AD was gone! A few days later, on a Saturday, I had some errands to run. I was visualizing going to the health food store and buying some addictive healthy food (LOL). In my past I always did my overeating on Friday eve thru Sat so guessing that day was an old trigger for me. I asked myself is that what I really want to do? I chose to do the MP3 and I shifted. That was wonderful! Since those two occasions I have had probably two more times when I had an AD but chose not to do the MP3, but instead ate food my body did not need.

During our session, I heard you say—-and please know, I realize this was my take away of what you said, it does not mean you actually said this: something along the lines that after I work thru the desire a couple of times I will be on my way.
So here I am with a dieter’s mentality of wanting a silver bullet and thinking it will just be a couple of times and I won’t need to do the MP3. And probably —even though I did not think of it til now— not having another AD!

This is very therapeutic to be writing this for a couple of reasons: I recognize I do not have a fear of embracing my AD! And also, I am being very childish/tantruming about not wanting to work thru my desire more than a couple of times. It is like you are handing me that Million dollar bill and I am snubbing you about it! And it is unreasonable to think I will never have an AD again or need the MP3. I believe you shared that you have an AD now and then. So this is normal and I should expect it, however the intensity will change significantly over time.

I feel like the “bad” student, however I tell myself I am the one labeling this as bad. What is most important here, is the learning. I appreciate your asking about my comment! If you need more explanation let me know. Thanks Gillian!