4.1 exploring freedom

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  • This topic has 16 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 months ago by Sophia G..
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    • #12244
      Jasper G.
      Participant

      I’ve been struggling with this exercise.
      I’m not entirely sure what or how I am thinking.
      I think, that I don’t really feel compelled to do anything however “I WOULD LIKE to or WANT to get my eating under control”. Is this different to thinking “I HAVE TO get my eating under control” ?
      Doe it even matter?

    • #12246
      Gillian
      Moderator

      Jasper,

      First of all, it’s not unusual for people to not be entirely sure what they are thinking at this stage of the course. That’s a good sign, by the way, as it means your mindset is being challenged, stirred up and re-evaluated.

      In Week 2 you posted this:
      my score was 116
      I’d like to be able to be in control of my eating without having to calorie count all the time
      I’ve got to stop mindlessly eating rubbish/junk that I don’t need or even want
      I can’t keep putting on weight/go back to 75kg again

      So there is prohibitive thinking there, with “I’ve got to stop…” and “I can’t…” and there must have been something going on along those lines to create a score of 116 in Part A.

      But perhaps you’ve discovered a lot about choice in the last week or so and really taken it on board?

      And, does it matter? Well, are you able to make changes to eat less and do that without feelings of deprivation and rebellion?

      • #12247
        Jasper G.
        Participant

        Thanks Gillian.

        I’d like to be able to be in control of my eating without having to calorie count all the time

          I’ve got

        to stop mindlessly eating rubbish/junk that I don’t need or even want

          I can’t

        keep putting on weight/go back to 75kg again

        I worded it like this because that is what the exercise called for.

        I have been able to make changes to eat less in the past and don’t think I felt deprived at the time. I avoided the addictive desire by substituting healthy snacks and not having any tempting foods in the house. But I must have felt deprived because then the spells of overeating kicked in again (rebellion).

        Changing mindset is tough.

        Yesterday there was homemade chocolate cake at work. I knew it was there. I thought about it and decided that I would have a small piece for morning teabreak. I did not eat my banana. I knew I had leftover calories from the previous day (still calorie counting) So I had it, enjoyed it and did not feel any guilt because I had thought it through. Is this free choice or am I still prohibited by the calorie counting?

    • #12248
      Gillian
      Moderator

      “I worded it like this because that is what the exercise called for.”
      Fair enough, but you still managed to rack up a score of 116 on Part A, and that’s high as closer to zero would be ideal.

      Making a free choice to eat chocolate cake is one thing, but I do assume you’re here to learn how to eat less. This is not to say you should not have had that cake, but what is it that you want to eat less of?

      I don’t see an entry from you at 1.1 and perhaps you are in a phase right now where your calorie counting is going well, so there’s nothing of any significance to change (eat less of) at the present time?

      • #12249
        Jasper G.
        Participant

        When I didn’t calorie count (December and January) I overate (biscuits, chocolate) again and even had binges. I put on 5kg and my clothes are too tight. So I’ve not learned to control my overeating. I used to think that I’d be happy to calorie count for ever (and I could if I wanted to) but I think I’d like to learn to control my eating without it.

    • #12250
      Gillian
      Moderator

      I get it – I see why you’re here. But you didn’t answer my question – and it’s no problem either way.

      My guess is that there’s nothing of any significance to change (eat less of) at the present time, but that’s my guess.

    • #12251
      Jasper G.
      Participant

      Yes, calorie counting is going well (when I do it) I’ve maintained a healthy weight for nearly 4 years eating healthy foods and feeling great. Having treats that are planned and calorie counted. However, I think about food all the time, planning out my meals and snacks. I’m not sure if that bothers me or not but maybe it does because I’ve mentioned it. before 4 years ago I was overweight for a long time, size 14, breathless and tired. Eating multipack crisps for lunch then feeling terrible. prior to that I have yo-yo dieted a few times, always by calorie counting.
      I would like to be able to control what I eat without having to calorie count. I wanted to stop the recent binging on biscuits and chocolate before it went on for too long.

    • #12253
      Sian
      Participant

      I’m really struggling with this exercise too Gillian. I don’t think that I really get it. I’ve tried it but not sure if I’ve done it properly but still feel that it’s difficult to give it a score as I think my thinking is so ingrained.

      • #12256
        Gillian
        Moderator

        Just make your best guess, Sian.

    • #12254
      Gillian
      Moderator

      Jasper,

      It makes a lot of sense that you’re not feeling connected to (and benefiting from) this course material, which is not to imply that you never could or will.

      But for now your calorie counting is working for you, and the only thing you can identify as a problem is thinking about food “all the time” – which probably isn’t, and you’re not sure it bothers you anyway.

      Your question at the start of this thread was, “does it even matter that I think “I HAVE TO get my eating under control” – which just doesn’t seem relevant to you at this point in time.

      My suggestion – if you’re not doing this a bit already – is to observe this course rather than try to participate (engage) in it and see how you go. Maybe we can talk more about this later on. My guess is you are in a state of compliance with the calorie counts (you are “being good”) and way too motivated by weight loss and/or maintenance.

      I’ll consider what might be a way forward, and meanwhile let me know if anything changes for you.

    • #12257
      Jasper G.
      Participant

      mmm , thank you Gillian. I have already found some benefit from the course in that I am being more mindful when I eat and will try to use the addictive eating technique whenever I feel tempted.

    • #12271
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      Hi Jasper, I just have to say, a trivial comment, but I just have to say – You said you used to be overweight, size 14.

      God, I would give my right arm to be size 14 and I imagine most people here would too !! Size 14! Wow! If only… !

      Also I wonder if you have something similar to body dysphoria. I realise that I did when I was younger, I don’t know for how long but maybe many years. I remember how fat and ugly I often thought I was.

      But when viewing photos years later (including the few my mum succeeded in keeping safe, when I’d stolen and destroyed all the ones I could get my hands on) I realised I was actually nice looking and actually also even far slimmer than I’d thought.

      Maybe body dysphoria is really common and like me maybe many people don’t even realise they’ve got it. I dunno. I know nothing about it actually.

      • This reply was modified 5 months ago by Sophia G..
      • #12278
        Gillian
        Moderator

        Sophia, I do appreciate your post, but consider

        a) Jasper may be in the US, so her size 14 is our UK size 16
        and/or
        b) she could be 5ft tall.

    • #12281
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      Oh ok thanks Gillian. Yes I didn’t think properly about that, different clothes sizes, and a person’s height. Thanks.

    • #12284
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      Hi Jasper, I do hope it was ok what I said. It looks like it could look somewhat off-hand or not serious or respectful. I hope it didn’t come across like that, and I apologise if i did sound disrespectful. Which is not intended at all.. Hope it’s ok. I probably was a bit over-relaxed which is not always good. X

      • #12312
        Jasper G.
        Participant

        Absolutely fine Sophia G. All comments welcome. I am in the UK, and at a size 14 (nearly 16) I felt overweight and unfit, my diet was not healthy. I’d regularly have a multipack of crisps for lunch. I feel much better now as a size 8-10. My meals are healthy now. Loads of energy and don’t get breathless going up hills. It’s not so much about how I look but how I feel. I’ve been maintaining my weight for years until recently when I “fell off the wagon”, stopped calorie counting and started eating rubbish again. This proved to me that I haven’t really learned how to control my overeating properly. I was in a rebellion I guess. I don’t want to put the weight back on again. Nip it in the bud, so to speak.

    • #12333
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      Thanks Jasper. And as Gillian pointed out early on, plenty of slim people are over eaters too. Glad your meals are healthy now. That makes a massive difference, doesn’t it.

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