All Coming Together!

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    • #4678
      Margaret
      Participant

      Dear Gillian, Lucy and all doing the 2019 Course.

      Sunday’s Q & A Webinar was for me the answer to all those unasked questions going around in my head. Lucy, I to am hung up on weight loss and have been for some years! Yo-yo dieting ..lose the weight then after awhile regain it. Mainly because I had not actually adjusted my eating habits and Gillian’s reply to my mention of *goodies* was the light bulb moment. Rewarding myself with unhealthy eating … Okay I have enough calories left to do this (when I was calorie counting that is) but is this what my body requires to reach a healthy state?? They are not goodies at all and will definitely have to find another name for them!

      Today is the first time for a long time that I have not reached for something sweet after lunch. I used times and plans …if I need it, then I can have it later. It will still be there. There is still a lot required from me to be aligned with the 3 themes, as at times I am still overeating. But after going through the course a second time, I believe my brain is responding and my values are changing. The question are you really serious about your health? …if we are, then we need to prioritize our health in terms of what we are actually eating, which for me, is the place where I begin again, and actually I am looking forward to going through all the material one more time!

      We are all on a journey but hopefully the next few weeks will bring me much nearer my destination ..better Health with a capital H! A big Thank You to Gillian for this site, for your patience, listening ear and all the Webinars where we can interact with you and become involved and respond.

      A Happy and Healthy 2020 to you all.
      Margaret

    • #4679
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Thank you so much for this, Margaret. I especially appreciate hearing that my comment on your word, “goodies” was taken in the spirit it was given: not a criticism but simply pointing out something that may be useful. And it was!

      It will all start again soon, so welcome to the next series.

    • #4680
      Margaret
      Participant

      Thank you Gillian. I actually lost the connection on Sunday night just as you were commenting on my response and did not pick it up until I listened to the video playback yesterday. It certainly wasn’t taken as criticism and it then made me stop and think about it in a way I have not done before! Thank you something is definitely working … It’s so good to feel free of can I say it… eating everything in sight! My husband offered me chocolate this afternoon and I declined …it was left on the plate in the kitchen. It is still there ..but normally the next time I entered the kitchen it would have been eaten, for no reason other than it was there!

      So Lucy and every one on the course ..stick with it because it all at some point comes together and results can be seen!

      Kind Regards
      Margaret

    • #4682
      Jenny Rocke
      Participant

      Yes the comment about goodies really resonated with me too! I slept really well last night after not eating my usual ‘goodies’ – now that felt like a real treat!!

    • #4683
      Margaret
      Participant

      Hi Jenny,
      That is great! It is a treat to sleep well and to know why. So we need a new phrase if we do eat *the goodies* any ideas??

    • #5380
      Katie
      Participant

      Margaret
      How about calling them Trickies rather than Goodies!It really resonated with me too!

    • #5381
      Margaret
      Participant

      Thank you Katie … will try that out… the trouble is the brain hangs on to these words and *goodies* present a picture/ image of chocolates and cakes etc on a plate! So need to replace the image …maybe a plate full of soap bars … Bubble bath bombs … Cakes covered with washing up liquid! I think this could just work!! Did read an article where any left over food at a meal instead of eating seconds or thirds… was covered with washing up liquid and so then thrown in the bin, which was much better then using yourself as the rubbish bin and eating more than you needed!

      Hope you are enjoying the course so far.. I am nearing the end of my first year and can say it has changed my relationship with food entirely for the better! After more than 40 years of so called dieting …losing the weight and putting it on again.. this is the way to go. Looking forward to sharing the rest of this course with you.

      Kind Regards
      Margaret

      • #5388
        Gillian
        Keymaster

        Not sure if this will be helpful, Margaret, but it may well be better to acknowledge your genuine desire for the chocolates and cakes.

        I’m concerned that pretending they are unpalatable (covered in washing up liquid, etc) might be a way to avoid the truth of their attraction. The point is that they are tasty, yummy, exciting, more-ish. No need to think otherwise. What you do is to accept that reality and re-evaluate the pleasure of eating them against the non-weight benefits of not satisfying your desire.

        Let me know if this helps?

    • #5383
      Sian
      Participant

      Hello Margaret. It’s so good to hear that eventually it WILL all come together.
      Such a positive message to those still struggling.
      Keep up the good work
      Siân

    • #5386
      Margaret
      Participant

      Thank you Sian and yes, for me its mainly about owning my choices … being in control of my food and not food controlling me. Do not manage every day but methinks we are all a work in progress, and I find going over the course again highlights things I missed the first and even the second time around! Being aware of how you feel after eating certain foods and how it affects you, is a great one to get your head around! Also feeling good about yourself where you are now, in this moment in time, helps to keep the balance especially using the non weight motivations. See how many of those you can tick off the list..I think you may be surprised ..now that opens the pathway to being and feeling successful regardless of what you weigh! Do try it and see for yourself.

      Enjoy your day
      Margaret

    • #5387
      Esther
      Participant

      Hi all
      I agree – for me it’s owning my own choices, not being too hard on myself when it doesn’t quite work out but also giving myself a pat on the back when I’ve managed to recognise and work through the desire (which doesn’t always happen but it does !).
      It’s just good at the moment to be able to stop and recognise this at times and know that even if it doesn’t happen every time it CAN happen ! I have the “neuronal that wire apart fire apart “ in my head on that front..
      Doing the course again is really helpful and getting different perspectives is also a positive step . So thanks all for your contributions !

    • #5389
      Margaret
      Participant

      Hi Gillan,
      Thank you for your reply which gives another insight into owning my choices and where it leads me!
      Looking at the “goodie* situation which started this thread, I know my addictive desire does get out of hand at times, especially when I am tired. For me personally, I need some sort of pick me up in the form of food to seemingly satisfy this. Need to work through this and realise it is my choice to *enjoy it* and move on or as you said re-evaluate it against the non weight benefits of not satisfying my desire, which gives in the end a greater satisfaction all round. Each day a little further along on the learning curve …getting there slowly but surely! Thank you again …as usual you hit the nail on the head so to speak and caused me to think it through and get back on the right track.

      By the way it was just an illustration with the washing up liquid …I have not actually gone that far myself.🙃

      Margaret

    • #5393
      Leslie
      Participant

      “might be a way to avoid the truth of their attraction” and “no need to think otherwise”

      Thanks for the above phrases, Gillian. These are essential thought processes (is that an accurate way to describe them?) that are front and center for me this week.

      Your suggestion to face the desire – even walk into a bakery! – smell, imagine, let myself feel the temptation is radical sometimes. I often think to myself I’m doing fine with food as long as I don’t feel a craving and then I’m lost/powerless. Such fear of it! The idea of making those feelings of desire less scary is wonderful! Thanks, all.

    • #5395
      Leslie
      Participant

      P.S. Margaret, although I haven’t tried covering food with dish soap (and I understand you didn’t either), I HAVE taken food far from my house to put in the garbage can at the park. Same idea!😊 The worry of it – I guess the fear of being powerless to work with feelings of desire – can be all-consuming for me. Working on it and trying to be willing to be on a learning curve!

    • #5396
      Margaret
      Participant

      Thank you Leslie for putting it in a way that spells out exactly what we need to be doing. Thinking it through, so we have a head start on this feeling of powerlessness around the desire for whatever we want and as Gillian said … re-evaluate the pleasure of eating them against the non weight benefits of not satisfying the desire. I agree it is there and we can eat it and then deal with the consequences afterwards. So we do not avoid the attraction of them … we just deal with the situation as it arises. Make our choice …own it …and move on. Easy?? Well, methinks it involves being on that learning curve and facing it one day at a time when and if it arises. Not sure how far you are in the course and whether you have already been through it, so will leave it there!

      Kind regards
      Margaret

    • #5397
      Leslie
      Participant

      “being on that learning curve and facing it one day at a time when and if it arises”

      Helpful words, Margaret – thank you! Can you tell I like small chunks and good quotes?? 🙂 Internal mantras actually help me a lot (sometimes).

      When I stand back a little, it seems incredible that cravings and urges have so much power. So thanks to Gillian and all of you for normalizing the experience. This is my first time round with the course, but I understand already why taking it again could be very important.

    • #5398
      Margaret
      Participant

      Hi Leslie,
      Thank you so much for your reply and it sounds as if you are doing really well after such a short time. When you have completed the course and are able to work with all the three themes …I promise that your relationship with food will be much easier to address.😊 Hope you are looking forward to tonight’s Webinar, I am not able to watch live at the moment, so catch up with you all on a Monday evening!

      Enjoy your day
      Margaret

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