back on the forum

[LizParticipant]

Hi, all!
Gillian, I joined several months ago and then turned away to do other things, including my pointless search to lose weight, count calories and macros, and tighten up. All to realize it gets me nowhere. I weigh the same.
I’m so glad I’m still a member here and can refer to these resources. It makes SO. MUCH. SENSE. and is the lasting way to change.
Currently, this is my pattern. I don’t feel hunger or want to eat until about 2pm. I get a lot done in the morning, exercise, and homeschool (since the quarantine) my 5 kids.
Then I have a good healthy meal, later maybe a snack before dinner and a “normal-ish” dinner with my family.
My addictive desire, no doubt, pops up after dinner. I expect it.
I want chocolate, ice cream, and candy. I’ve told myself it’s all okay to want and even to have that, because my weight doesn’t really fluctuate.
BUT, when I think of the health drawbacks, I realize I’m slowly killing myself with sugar.
So, my question is. The addictive desire is there. I KNOW exactly when it comes. Do I suppress it with something healthier for a bit to get off the treats/candy habit?
Or, just let it sit and squirm?
I’m so happy to be back and welcome all feedback. Stay healthy and safe!

[Julie MannParticipant]

Great topic. Following.

[GillianModerator]

Hi Liz

This is by no means the first time someone has got involved in my work, then returned to past systems such as diets or calorie counting, or whatever, and then returned with renewed appreciation for – and greater understanding of – the material here. I do think this will be the inevitable process for a great many.

My concern is that you didn’t really attend this course last year. I don’t know, but I do wonder how much you engaged in it before you “turned away to do other things”.

The short answer to your question is that you could try your healthy options late in the day, to see how that works for you. It’s most likely not the worst thing in the world, but my guess is that it will only take you so far – and probably not too far at all.

I appreciate that with five kids at home you may not have the time to take with this now, but do consider starting from scratch with my next course on May 17th. My view is there’s still a great deal here for you to discover – and do let me know if I’ve got this totally wrong.

[Julie GParticipant]

Hi Gillian. Are you running a course in May?

[GillianModerator]

It does look like it will go ahead.

I’ve scheduled an introduction for May 17th and will post enrolment links on this site soon.

[Julie MannParticipant]

Oh hooray about the course starting again on May 17! Thank you Gillian!

[LizParticipant]

Thank you, Gillian. With all this time at home, I’d love to take the course in May. My kids are doing their own courses, and I could, also! 🙂
I appreciate your content and help at this time!

[EstherParticipant]

Hi Liz
I agree with Julie, great topic, thanks!
Ive done the course more than once and it took a while for me to fully embrace it and still I am still embracing and working through desire, it really is worth going back to and looking at properly again!
Yes hooray for May course, I will most certainly be there!

[Julie MannParticipant]

Esther I totally agree. I’ve taken this course over and over again because it’s always fresh to me, it’s always great reinforcement, and I need the reminders.

[LeslieParticipant]

Count me in for the May course, too! So much about ‘success’ depends on keeping the concepts fresh in my mind… a question I have for the Sunday discussion has to do with Liz’s experience of evening challenges (Liz, I love your phrase about letting desire sit and squirm!). Gillian, I’d appreciate you talking more about evening depletion – being more tired, accumulation of the stress from the day, and do cortisol levels drop? I know the strategies remain the same, but it would be useful to hear more about the extra challenge sometimes layered on at the end of day!

Also, I’m interested in hearing more about the experience of discomfort vs addictive desire. I know I can go back and look at your videos, too! I feel like a pressing challenge for me right now is sitting with discomfort. Honestly, I think I’d be much more ok with it if I felt more confident that discomfort won’t turn into (or doesn’t need to) a raging addictive desire. Also, to be reminded that the discomfort (which can be REALLY uncomfortable!) always passes. Even if it lasts awhile.

I want to recommit to noticing discomfort and addictive desire. Thanks for everyone’s posts. It’s really helpful to hear about your experiences.

[GillianModerator]

Thanks for the question for our webinar on Sunday. And for giving me some time to consider.

More questions – from anyone?

[Julie MannParticipant]

Leslie, I know I’m not Gillian but here is my experience. For me, emotional discomfort ALWAYS passes and it never turns into stronger desire.

I have never ever NOT binged and later thought “I wish I had binged”. I’m always so relieved and the desire to overeat/binge always passes and then comes that relief and pride. And I have NEVER binged and thought, “I’m so glad I did that, what a great idea.”

The other thing is that the discomfort of an urge, of desire is temporary. The discomfort of a binge lasts (for me) for days – I’m sick to my stomach, depressed, anxious, I gain weight, my digestion is off. When I let the discomfort of desire pass, not only is there nothing to “clean up”, but I’m proud, I have energy, AND I’ve just weakened the neural pathways between emotional discomfort and eating.

[EstherParticipant]

Hi Leslie
I’m sure Gillian will reply and I’m only posting from my perspective. Odd how we seem to be in the same place .
It’s taken me about a month to actually successfully sit with addictive desire (last night for the first time in a while) and for me it was more about slowing down in the whole process .. recognising the desire, and choice, remembering to breathe and finally I didn’t actually die by sitting with this horrid raging creature ..
That’s just what I’ve been through, I find that working through desire successfully once is the winner for me, gives me confidence and courage that it’s not a life threatening situation. My addictive desire is sneaky, talking to me in various ways like “well you only ate that at dinner, what else could you snack on” back to snuffling through cupboards for various bits and pieces. Re watching the webinar on working through desire really helped and remembering just to work on one thing, perfectionist as usual kicking in.
I just wanted to comment and am looking forwards to Gillian’s reply !

[EstherParticipant]

Oh nice post Julie ! I totally agree with all 🙂

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by Esther.

[Julie MannParticipant]

P.S. Gillian I’d love to hear more about end of the day depletion. Leslie – that too – when I overeat because I’m depleted, not only do I feel worse, but my sleep is interrupted and then I’m more and more depleted in the coming days. I think it circles back to the great question from lesson 1, motivation, “How will I feel after I eat that?”…

[Julie MannParticipant]

Esther – so good! And that whole notion of “I’ve done it once” – gives you the evidence that you are capable which builds on itself!!!

[EstherParticipant]

Hi Gillian if you have replied for some reason I cant see it, would you be so kind as to repost please?

[GillianModerator]

Esther, not sure where there is a question that needs a reply from me.

Except what I’ll speak about today on the Q&A Webinar, about “end of day depletion” and “discomfort vs desire”.

Do let me know what I’ve missed and I can include in the live session.

[EstherParticipant]

Apologies Gillian I’ve just seen it under the original question 😳, sorry bit of a techno dim wit 😂

[GillianModerator]

Cool.

Sometimes there’s a question posted but it’s written like a statement, with no question mark at the end?

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