- This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 4 months, 4 weeks ago by Kylene.
February 26, 2021 at 10:54 pm #12369KyleneParticipant
How do you get out of the birthday (treat yourself) mentality? My birthday was last Sunday. In the past, celebrating my birthday ended up being a week instead of a day. Usually I eat whatever I want on my birthday. The problem is the next few days when my brain and body are screaming at me to keep eating all of the sugar/gluten/cheese/whatever. After a day of indulging, how do you get back on track? Is it asserting freedom of choice? Weighing out the consequences? Throwing away the food and leftover birthday cake? Or a combination of all of the above?
February 27, 2021 at 2:00 am #12370Renée LParticipant
I’d love to hear what others have to say on this topic. My initial thought was that you just take it one birthday at a time, keeping in mind all three themes, and the outcomes you’d like to create.
Happy Belated Birthday!
February 27, 2021 at 7:13 am #12372Sophia G.Participant
Hi Kylene, I so much recognise what you say! But it def does get easier with practice.. I’m not as bad as I was with that scenario. I might suggest to keep the treats and the birthday cake, so you’re keeping your choice, but to put them somewhere that’s a bit awkward and inconvenient to get at. Out of the way in a cupboard upstairs, or in a very dry shed at the end of the garden, etc. I do that with nuts and it works pretty well (so far, generally, & touch wood..) It really does help.
February 27, 2021 at 9:14 am #12375GillianModerator
I would say, a combination of all of the above.
More on this later in the course, especially in Week 6.
February 27, 2021 at 9:22 am #12376Jasper G.Participant
I’m sure Gillian will explain this better.
It seems to me like you see your Birthday as a chance to “get out of the prison cell of prohibition”. Do you think that your birthday means that you can allow yourself to “eat whatever you want”? Are you denying yourself the choice to eat these things when it’s not your birthday ?
I suspect the way to get out of the “treat yourself mentality” is to accept that you can treat yourself whenever you like, (if you want) not just on special days etc.
Are these foods really treats however ? Won’t we just feel bad after eating them anyway ? Guilty, bloated, etc ?
I think the answer lies in changing the way we think about food entirely, using Gillian’s techniques. Practising them and getting good at it.
(I hope you don’t think I’m trying to be the teacher here. Writing this has helped me to understand it a bit better too. I’m sure Gillian will explain it better.)
February 27, 2021 at 9:25 am #12377GillianModerator
That’s great, Jasper.
No, I don’t think Gillian can explain it any better.
February 27, 2021 at 2:28 pm #12381Jasper G.Participant
Of course. it’s just dawned on me that I do exactly the same thing with holidays and Christmas etc ! Now I know what to do about it 🙂
February 27, 2021 at 3:13 pm #12382CarolineParticipant
Thanks for that great post, Jasper! Oh wow, Kylene, I really sympathise. I’ve got a birthday coming up at the end of next month and I’m already looking forward to it and to the licence that I grant myself to eat whatever I want on that day. And of course, as soon as I write that, I realise that I’m not giving myself permission to eat whatever I want on the (much more numerous, alas!) other days which aren’t my birthday! So… choice again! Onward and upward…
February 27, 2021 at 8:35 pm #12388KyleneParticipant
Thank you all for your replies. I am thinking it all through.
Jasper, I think that you are 100% correct. That is how I treated my birthday and any other holiday in the past, as a free for all to have whatever “treat” I wanted. If I continue to work on changing my thinking and how I see and handle my food choices, I’m assuming this will get better. Whenever I’ve binged on a lot of sugar, such as holidays and parties, the next few days the cravings for those things are a lot more intense than usual. So I need to realize that this is one of the consequences of my food choices when I am working through addictive desire.
That being said, this past birthday I decided that I didn’t want to go through the steps of dealing with addictive desire. I decided that if I wanted something, I would go ahead and eat it without thinking about it. Maybe this wasn’t the best choice? Maybe I should have addressed some of the desires. Is it okay to take a “day off” or is this something I should do every time I want to eat something or are experiencing addictive desire?
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