August 8, 2020 at 8:46 am #8949
Hello Gillian and Hello everyone!
I open this thread, for tips or strategies on how to deal with body image. I have realized that it seems to me that my problem with eating comes from not accepting my body and wanting to change it. Luckily I am handling well the issue of binge eating and overeating , I could improve many more things, but luckily I have been able to break certain behaviors at least, and be more aware of them, eating for eating, eating for being bored, from eating in the car to being alone, luckily I’m being able to handle them and I’m eating much less so many times.
What I have realized that it costs me the most is to accept my body and break that pattern of not loving myself and thinking that I will love myself when I lose at least the 10-15kg that I gained in the last year and a half. Which is stupid, why let’s see … now I’m weighing about 80-85kg, and when I was at 70kg I also didn´t like myself and I wanted to lose 10kg … because I always wanted to reach 60kg approx, which is more or less the weight I had when I started to feel bad with myself, my image, deal with diets, because “I was fat” and end up if .. being fat.
I am encouraging myself to do many things, from going to the beach in a bikini without making a drama about it and without excuses to do not go, Im encouraging to putting on shorts sometimes and to try to respect and love my body the way it is right now. But that does not mean that I have a bad time at times, and then it comes when I see a photo and it makes me want to start crying and not go out for at least 8 months. I don’t recognize myself, I look ugly, fat and it costs me horrors to have a look of love at myself. Even so, when I detect it, I speak to myself with compassion and think and say things to myself that are what I would say to another person in that situation, because if not, sometimes one speaks fatally to oneself. We are our worst judges.
Something similar happens to someone else? What do you do to take it better? Gillian, any advice?
August 8, 2020 at 10:50 am #8951LouiseParticipant
Hello Guadalupe. Sorry to hear of the difficulties you are having about your body image.
I think what strikes me about your post is how much progress you have made. You say you have improved binge eating, eating from boredom, and eating in the car. This is massive! Yet you seem to dismiss that, because you haven’t seen dramatic changes in your appearance.
My view is that this course is not about accepting your own poor opinion of your body. Of course, you need to be kind and compassionate with yourself, but I would say it will help if you also focus on and celebrate the fact that you have gained better control over your eating. That is huge! I expect you are also getting non weight benefits from those changes. Don’t underplay those – just by gaining control you will be reducing the risks of diabetes and heart attack. Unlike losing weight, these are life saving achievements. Remember in Gillian’s webinar on motivation, she cites a paper that says almost one quarter of people who are overweight do not have markers of metabolic disease. It’s not the weight that is the issue – it’s the quality and quantity of what you eat that makes the most difference.
Of course, if you continue improving and applying the technique, you will lose weight. I have lost a bit, I think, at least my clothes are looser (I never weigh myself) and people tell me I look really well. I am not slim by any means, but I do look well and healthy – and more importantly feel well and healthy – because of the changes in my eating habits.
So I would say, every time you feel upset or angry about your appearance and you are unkind to yourself, remind yourself of how far you have come and the successful changes you have made. Don’t underplay that progress, but build on it and keep making small changes, so that your health gets better and better. In the end, it’s our health that will serve us best in enjoying life and taking part, not what we look like.
Good luck! You are doing really well!
August 8, 2020 at 11:45 am #8953Julie MannParticipant
Great topic, following.
Guadalupe you are doing amazing things – I love that you are living your life anyway, and also perhaps try Gillian’s technique of when you see you have a focus on your body, switch to remembering all the non weight benefits.
August 8, 2020 at 12:48 pm #8954
Hi Louise, Thanks for your post. I know this course is not about body image, but is just to know if it happens to someone. And yes, I´ve done and Im doing a lot, and the fact is Im not doing it to change the shape and size of my body. Im doing the changes in my eatings because of digestive problems, and that is my motivation. Im not focusing on losing weight, and image. But the thing is that sometimes I see myself in photos, or the mirror and I feel really bad, and start to think that Ive to change my weight and start dieting or some stupid fix that doesnt work, and then is when Im more anxious and start binge and overeat again.
August 8, 2020 at 12:49 pm #8955
Hi JuliE! And yes, Im gonna try to switch to non weight benefits, or to do not take any picture at all 🙂 So i dont see me and I go back through focus on weight, size, shape of the boy.
August 8, 2020 at 1:34 pm #8956GillianKeymaster
You’ve got some great replies here from Louise and Julie. To add something from me, I do understand that whenever you become upset about the weight/size of your body, this leads you to overeat. This is a very common reaction which I’ve also experienced in the past.
It seems you are trying to solve this problem by trying not to be upset about your weight/size: don’t take photos, love body how it is now, go to the beach anyway, etc.
Instead, what will work better is to expect to be upset about your body weight/size from time to time. I doubt you will stop that from happening – or that you need to stop that reaction in order to make progress. What will make the difference is how you handle (respond to) that upset you feel:
• remember non-weight benefits you’ve already experienced
• consider non-weight benefits you could create soon, maybe with your next meal
• bring yourself into the present moment by looking at how you are with your eating right now, today: what’s going well? what might be good to change?
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