Cues

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    • #12522
      Andria
      Participant

      Hi Gillian,
      I have a question on cues. One of my triggers was a night ‘snack’ after dinner, before bed. I used to verbalize to the family, ok, it’s snack time. Over the past few weeks I’ve ‘forgotten’ to do this and I feel like the cue has dissolved. Do you recommend I continue to do this, as I haven’t intentionally dismissed the cue, it happened organically. I don’t want to set myself up for feeling like I’ve omitted a choice as this previously was a difficult area for me. Any insight in this topic would be helpful.

      Best,
      Andria

    • #12523
      Gillian
      Moderator

      Andria,

      It would be good for me to get a better sense of how things are for you before I answer this.

      So, can you let me know if it’s just this one cue that has seemed to have dissolved?

      And, do you ever think of yourself as a perfectionist?

      And, by the way, I don’t encourage you to think in terms of dismissing the addictive desire. Instead, I suggest addressing, facing and/or working through. Do you think that’s something you can take on board?

    • #12526
      Andria
      Participant

      Hi Gillian,
      Things are going well using your methods of addressing the desire. I typically had three cues, the other two have diminished quite a bit as well using your techniques. And no, I would not consider myself a perfectionist.

      And I honestly have forgotten to have the nighttime snack! I may not have initially articulated the question properly. Do you think that my cue dissolved in a matter of weeks this fast after such a struggle? I was just surprised to experience the reduction in desire at these cues, and thinking is this too good to be true?

      Andria

    • #12528
      Gillian
      Moderator

      Andria,

      I appreciate your question and see why you would ask it, but it’s tough for me to know enough about what’s happening with you.

      I asked about being ‘perfect’ as that can create a state of compliance, where it all seems a bit too easy… up to the point where the perfection is broken, and you “fall off the wagon”. It might not be ‘perfection’ but if you are someone who is very good at dieting, that past training can have the same effect.

      Yes, the techniques work very well, and if you are on board with all three themes of motivation, choice and desire it’s all very straightforward, becoming progressively easier to spot, work though and thereby heal addictive desire.

      Having just three cues seems not very many, so I don’t understand about that, but guess it’s possible.

      Perhaps the most helpful thing I can say is, time will tell. But you could have one of your old nighttime snacks just to see what happens, the worst thing being that it awakens that cue for a while.

    • #12639
      Andria
      Participant

      Thank you Gillian. Yes. I’ve been working through the three concepts, motivation, choice and desire. And the three cues that strike up a major addictive desire I talk about are the ones I’m having (was having) the most trouble with; at the end of dinner, snacking before bed, and picking from my kids plates (I discovered I was making more kids foods so I could pick at it).
      The desire is real and I don’t think I’m in compliance mode. I’ve been tackling the desire head on.
      I’m going to try your recommendation to try having a nighttime snack and see if the desire is still there.
      I’m so grateful for you and your support.
      I was just pleasantly surprised that the desire dissolved, and wanted to get your input which I appreciate.

      Best,
      Andria

    • #12654
      Gillian
      Moderator

      It all sounds really good, Andria.

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