- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by Julia R.
May 30, 2020 at 3:58 am #7718Erin HParticipant
Gillian, I’ve been listening to the lessons on choice, and I’m trying to make good use of the choice exercise, but I think I am taking it in the wrong direction. My answers are mostly quite different from the examples you give!
Are the statements I’m making intended to look at how I would behave moving forward if I own my choices? I went into some sort of sad self-blaming space with it before reading the examples (a glimpse into my psyche at the moment perhaps).
If I own my choices about what I eat…
-its my fault I’m gaining weight.
-I feel guilt and shame about the choices I’ve made.
-I have the power to change them.
-I can choose to eat in a way that makes me feel good physically and mentally.
May 30, 2020 at 7:48 am #7719GillianModerator
The exercise you did is great and there is no intention to the exercise other than an exploration, an enquiry. There are no wrong answers.
If you keep going, doing this exercise most days, you’ll find new endings as you go. Just be curious about it and let it go (ie don’t worry too much about what you come up with).
May 31, 2020 at 7:51 pm #7755OlinaParticipant
Erin, I hope you don’t mind me chiming in but my heart went out to you when I read your statements… reminded me of the way I talk to myself a lot of the time! I often forget the self-compassion component that Gillian mentioned in the beginning webinar and am mean to myself also. I try and remind myself often that kindness is not only nicer but a more effective way to motivate myself to make the changes I want to make.
I did an exercise in a self-help book recently where you write down all the things you would say to a loved one if they were in the same situation (stuff like “You’ve got this” and “I believe in you” and “It’ll be hard at times but you can handle it” etc) and compare that with how you talk to yourself (i.e, the world’s worst motivational speaker!)
Anyway sorry for butting in, please ignore if not helpful. Also thanks for the reminder of the exercise, I forgot I could be doing it every day! 🙂
May 31, 2020 at 8:22 pm #7763Erin HParticipant
Thanks Gillian for your feedback, I will just keep at it! My answers are changing already….
Olina,I appreciate your input very much! It is such a struggle to transition my inner critic to that kind and compassionate inner-voice. I think it’s the same process as dealing with prohibitive thinking – the negative harsh thought is going to come up inevitably, then you can respond with the next thought that takes a stand against it (“You’ve got this,” and so on).
June 2, 2020 at 1:57 am #7789Julia RParticipant
A couple of weeks ago I heard a psychologist talking about using compassion for ourselves related to the pandemic—people struggling and having so many challenges. She used the example when talking about compassion towards ourselves as “I have your back!”. Just this morning I found myself actually saying that very statement to myself: “I’ve got your back!”. It felt very good, very supportive. It felt like I had a cheerleader encouraging me on. Hope someone else can get value from this idea.
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