Facing addictive desire!

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    • #12193
      Carla
      Participant

      Hi Gillian, everyone,
      Well I purchased two incredibly addictive items that I don’t often buy, peanut butter and jam in my online shop . As you say Gillian, it’s possible to act on choice when shopping .
      Not sure why I added these items at this time, perhaps as a test.
      Anyway, after dinner and a dessert, ( I’m sill not sure about the dessert as I keep thinking, I allowed it so it was a free choice but ‘ allow’ sounds wrong.
      Watching tv and I faced 3 addictive desire waves. I can’t say that one was easier than another, they didn’t get easier, but each time , I breathed and counted to 20 and reminded my self that this is an opportunity to change. I tried to relax but I felt very tense and uncomfortable. I could almost taste the peanut butter and jam! I kept thinking, I can eat this but just for now I won’t.
      I hope it gets easier but not so far! At least I did it. Then this morning I couldn’t resist hopping on the scales again and I know this is isn’t helpful.
      Just wanted to share how it’s going.
      At least I’ve managed to catch up on much of the material I missed earlier in the course as I was ill and have found this very useful.

    • #12195
      Renée L
      Participant

      Carla,

      Your story is amazing!

      Allowing the AD does feel hard in the beginning because, and I will speak for myself, it was such a strong habit. When the desire and urges struck me in the past, I automatically reacted to them and ate in response to quiet the urge. In effect, I strengthened that pattern. If I ever did try to “resist” the urges, my brain did not like that, and so it threw tantrum after tantrum until I complied.

      It’s so inspirational to hear your success and reminds me that this method really does work. It works for me, but for some reason I can easily forget that it works, so reminders are always helpful.

      Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself some grace. Not to downplay your “jumping on the scale” behavior, but here’s another way to look at it. Perhaps you can do what Gillian suggests by adding new thoughts to that behavior. You could tell yourself, “ok, so I jumped on the scale the morning after working through desire, hoping to see a change in the number, but what I really did change was my behavior by successfully working through the AD three times! Yeah me!” Or something like that. No scale can measure that success!

      Glad you are feeling better.

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