November 22, 2020 at 11:24 pm #10180JessicaParticipant
Gillian, Thank you for your feedback today during the webinar – it is so very helpful. And I just wanted to reflect a bit further on fast food while it was still fresh in my mind.
I am very keenly aware of how terrible processed food and soda is for me and that it’s not really food at all. And in the past few years I have started to see first hand some of the physical impacts on my metabolic health. When I became aware of how bad processed food is for my body, I reacted by trying to forbid myself from eating it, or at least making big plans for how I was only going to eat “real food” from now on. That is where I now believe my addictive desire really started. Before that, I would say it was just a pattern of eating/bad habits that I didn’t think too much about because I wasn’t overweight. Thanks to this course, I now see so clearly that all of those rules I was making for myself about *not* eating rubbish really backfired spectacularly and caused my AD to come alive and then get worse. And I ended up eating even more processed food than I did before!
Other techniques I tried were just trying to talk myself out of even wanting to eat processed foods through sheer force of logic – which didn’t work and left me feeling stupid and defective. And sometimes I tried to duplicate processed food at home by making elaborate, but rather unhealthy food at home. But that was not really helping me get where I wanted to be and was really just substituting a different way to satisfy my desire for hyper palatable food.
So I’m here in this course trying to take a different approach and I am feeling really hopeful. As I mentioned in my last post, I see now that I don’t have to eliminate all desire for those foods – they are designed to be appealing after all and I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy them to a degree, though perhaps that will change in time. I am instead trying to give myself back a sense of freedom and focus on all the downsides that come with processed food and retrain my brain to see all the upsides of eating regular, more nutritious food – in terms of the immediate way I feel and saving time and money (and not being a slave to the food industry!). But it really is like I have to relearn how to eat and enjoy normal food in response to hunger.
I have a long way to go, but I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and I am so grateful to you for this program and your insights!
November 23, 2020 at 1:27 pm #10191GillianKeymaster
This is so good, Jessica.
I encourage you to trust in the process and that it will continue to unfold and work for you as time goes on. You really don’t need to have everything sorted out right now.
Make sure you acknowledge yourself for how far you’ve come already; your insight about desire, and having lunch at home last week. And watch out for any non-weight benefits.
More to come!
November 23, 2020 at 7:19 pm #10193JessicaParticipant
Thank you, Gillian. I’m looking forward to it.
I have been so eager and anxious to figure this all out for a while now, but I also know that fixating on having it all sorted out perfectly would really just be a hindrance to me. I will try to focus on my incremental progress so far and being willing to be a work in progress, as you say.
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