- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 1 week ago by Karen M.
May 14, 2021 at 8:08 am #14298Karen MParticipant
I signed up to the May 2021 course full of enthusiasm. I’ve got your books & keep coming back to them as they make sense but I struggle applying them.
I was out Sunday night so missed the live webinar, now I’ve got into a slump and am resisting doing this weeks course – negative spiral, missed the webinar so I’m failing at this so why bother. Now I’ve put t into writing I can see how daft that seems.
Can I just confirm I can rewatch the webinars & the rest of the course for the year. I think I need to take the pressure off and catch up with the course but come back to it again later to reinforce it. Hope I’m making sense.
May 14, 2021 at 8:27 am #14304GillianModerator
Yes, you have access to everything for one year – all courses, live webinars and all the membership site materials. I begin a new course three times a year, so you could start off again in late September.
However, I wonder if I’m seeing an “all-or-none” perfectionism here? If you don’t do it perfectly you won’t do it at all? I promise that will get in your way – now, in September, next year… any time you get to work on this.
So this could be a great opportunity to address the idea “I’m failing at this so why bother” and consider the possibility of continuing with this course imperfectly, incorporating your many “failures” along the way.
And finally, any time you feel like you’ve “lost your mojo” just make a connection with your freedom of choice: you don’t have to do any of this at all, ever, and even if you start you don’t have to continue.
May 14, 2021 at 7:24 pm #14315Cyndi B.Participant
Karen, I just typed out a long comment here to you and then lost it as I swiped incorrectly to send it. It’s okay (for you for sure), and writing it out is helpful to me anyway. So here is my attempt to get at it more briefly this time.
I signed up here in May also, so I hope to see you around for at least the next year. You question above and Gillian’s reply are really helpful; I think anyone here will experience a loss of mojo- in whatever guise. Re-listening to the webinars has been even more constructive than when I attend them live… though I find the live experience helpful too; being there live, it’s the engagement… and upon re-listening, I’m amazed at how the answers/food-for-thought are directly related to my experience.. even when the original question seems disparate to my situation.
I have a sense of understanding where you’re coming from… and look forward to seeing you around whenever.
May 14, 2021 at 8:23 pm #14316Karen MParticipant
Gillian, lightbulb moment. I never put myself down as a perfectionist, to me a perfectionist always does things ‘perfectly’. I think of myself as a quitter – I give up as soon as I make a slip. That explains the fortune I’ve spent on various diet plans, only to give up at the first glitch. Very much all or nothing. I’m taking it as a positive that I’ve reached out rather than giving up & not continuing with the course.
I’m at a bit of a loss as to start addressing it though.
Cyndi, thanks. It helps that other people understand. Hopefully we can help each other out over the coming year.
May 14, 2021 at 9:10 pm #14319GillianKeymaster
Welcome back, Karen 🙂
Perfectionists are not perfect, but they do aspire to it, totally dismiss anything less, and regard ‘perfect’ as the only worthwhile goal.
Many diet plans and systems will support and encourage this, but it’s unsustainable. Which I think you already know!
“I’m at a bit of a loss as to start addressing it though.” – You have already begun to do this by not buying into your negative spiral of, “I missed the webinar so I’m failing at this so why bother.” And three suggestions:
1. there’s a lot more about this later on in the course; we are very much headed towards a completely satisfactory state of imperfection
2. watch a YouTube video with Dr Carol Dweck, psychology professor at Stanford University, who has done quite a bit of research on perfectionism and has good stuff to say about it – for example, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgUF5WalyDk
3. figure out how imperfect you can be with food and still get the results you’re after (except being perfect of course).
May 15, 2021 at 8:20 am #14325Karen MParticipant
Had a bt of a lightbulb moment last night. Suddenly realised the choices I make at any one time are for that moment. Just because I made a choice I regretted last time I ate, the next time I eat I make a choice for that moment. It’s not ‘all or nothing’. Eating choices will never be 100% perfect as however much I plan life intervenes. Now I have to address automatically eating and start making choices.
Thank you for your perspective, Gillian, I can now see where my thinking needs to change. This weekend I will accept that even though I might not have done all this weeks course I can still join in with the webinar tomorrow evening. A baby step from my all or nothing attitude, but a step in the right direction!
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