Gillian, Perfectionism question

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    • #15058
      Karen M
      Participant

      Morning. Way back near the start of this course I had a big wobble and fell behind with the course. I got in touch and you commented that you thought I was a perfectionist. It didn’t really resonate at the time but I’ve been pondering it and have realised that that is what my ‘all or nothing’ mind is. If it’s not going to work 100% why bother. I’m struggling to get back into the course. Is there any background reading on dealing with perfectionism that you recommend. I think I need to address that first. Thanks

    • #15059
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Hi Karen,

      I did notice you had disappeared – and welcome back 🙂

      I don’t know anyone better than Dr Carol Dweck on this issue.

      Her bestselling book is MINDSET and she has many YouTube talks to watch as well so you can search for her there.

      And yes, it’s widely accepted that perfectionism isn’t ‘being perfect’ but holding the belief that you should be and totally discrediting anything else.

    • #15061
      Karen M
      Participant

      Thank you. I shall be looking her up on you tube. Book looks interesting. I think I’ll read it and then revisit your course. I’ve pencilled in the date off the next course.

    • #15063
      Sally G
      Participant

      I can really relate to this Karen. I couldn’t keep up or dial in live so berated myself for not making the time to do the course ‘properly’ so dip in and out of it which doesn’t make me feel satisfied either. Partly I think it’s fear of failure, so if I don’t do it properly it will fail because of that and not because of me (if that makes sense?) and also because if I can’t give it 100%, why bother.
      I will definitely take a look at the MINDSET stuff.

      Thanks Gillian.

    • #15064
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Just a thought about Dweck’s book, MINDSET, regarding her comment:

      “Although for simplicity I’ve talked as though some people have a growth mindset and some people have a fixed mindset, in truth we’re all a mixture of the two. There’s no point denying it. Sometimes we’re in one mindset and sometimes we’re in the other. Our task then becomes to understand what triggers our fixed mindset.”

      I found that so helpful when I read the book, and wonder why she didn’t flag that up right at the start (with case study examples?) instead of hiding it away in a couple of sentences on page 217.

      It reminds me of my “Client Story” in Week 6 where the teacher points that she doesn’t ever expect perfection of herself in terms of her teaching or parenting. But she used to be a big time perfectionist in terms of food, to the point where she described herself as having a binge eating disorder.

    • #15074
      Karen M
      Participant

      Sally, I’ve just found an audible version of the Carol Dweck’s Mindset book on You Tube.

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