December 23, 2020 at 4:19 am #10480Barb RParticipant
Gillian, thanks so much for taking the time you did to address my question in the last Q&A. Your response gave me a lot to ponder, and I love your suggestion of using plans when choosing to graze.
I have to work through this course again, as I think there’s something that’s still eluding me. I get the cornerstone of all this is acknowledging we have choice, and that seems so clear to me, of course I can choose either pen. But I wonder if I’m blind to some of the areas where I’m not allowing choice in my eating. I sometimes still act as if “I can’t eat more than this,” even though I know of course I can eat however much I want. When I have that “I want more” feeling after a decent meal, I assume that’s addictive desire, and I sit with that, feel it in my body, remind myself I can eat if I want and what I’m choosing if I do eat. But I think I have this “good girl” mentality, that if I choose to act on the addictive desire, I’m somehow failing, and perhaps that indicates there’s still some lack of choice thoughts there.
And you’re right, when the AD came back that time so strong, it scared me a bit to be facing AD that strongly again, and I continue to be hesitant to stir that up, since AD has decreased so greatly using times, but perhaps I’ll always be at the mercy of AD if I don’t get more comfortable with sometimes choosing to act on it.
I enjoyed the entire Q&A. I love listening to you! What you share is always so helpful.
December 28, 2020 at 12:29 pm #10489GillianParticipant
“But I think I have this “good girl” mentality, that if I choose to act on the addictive desire, I’m somehow failing, and perhaps that indicates there’s still some lack of choice thoughts there.”
Perhaps – to some extent – any time we act on addictive desire we will be ‘failing’ in our attempt to eat less? Check that it’s fine with you to fail a bit sometimes (ie not see perfection or 100% abstinence as the ideal) and check that the degree to which you’re failing works for you.
So – not necessarily a lack of choice there, I don’t think. And do continue to ‘fail’ enough to induce that stronger addictive desire so that it too can be desensitised, defused and diminished.
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