Hanson / Neff podcast…. Your own best friend

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    • #14752
      Cyndi B.

      Hello~ I’m sorta surprised this hasn’t been mentioned here yet.. but there’s a recent podcast this week of Rick Hanson interviewing Kristin Neff (neuro-professionals Gillian cites). I listened to it and think it is a great, relevant listen… was for me. The general topic is FEIRCE SELF COMPASSION; think not docile compassion; energy to show up for yourself.

      (June 7th drop: 1 hour)


      Related, I wanted to share a mantra / phrase that I’ve definitely been remembering as part of MOTIVATION these past several weeks.

      A friend of mine, Marissa, is a philosophy professor whose dissertation advisor was Kristin Neff (just a random, cool tie-in.)
      Marissa (M) said that when she was an adolescent she had an extended period of difficulties in peer socializing; she wore her heart on her sleeve and was easily and deeply hurt by friends. Her mother happened to be a psychologist with Stanford University- and she would say to Marissa- “You need to be your own best friend.” M said she was so annoyed by this, and would reflexively roll her eyes- she wanted SOMEONE ELSE to be her best friend.. why did SHE have to do it?!” As you can guess, M said she now understood the vital-ness of what her mother was getting at. Marissa was just finishing her PhD work with Kristin when she told me this story, and it was a fundamental inspiration for her plowing through; Dr. Neff was a “dedicated” critic and advisor to her graduate students.
      I now love this simple phrase so much. “You need to be your own best friend.” This is fierce self compassion and feels right in sync with the ELO course.

      Gillian, maybe you’ll challenge “NEED to”; haha, yes I get it..

    • #14754

      Thank you, Cyndi, this is wonderful.

      I especially loved her nod to Growth Mindset and the benefit of self-compassion around being on a learning curve, which actually requires mistakes – reacting to them while not over-reacting! I’ve not heard the phrase “a compassionate mess” before.

      And, “I am a little biased but there are over 35,000 studies that really point to self-compassion as one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available to us.”

      She didn’t mention “weight loss” as such but I read that between the lines when she spoke about the socialisation of women to appeal to men, over our own self-care.

      I have a link to Neff’s web site in READS AND VIEWS at the bottom of the Course Dashboard, BTW.

    • #14757
      Cyndi B.

      Great, glad you liked it. Yes, that biased comment was funny.. then direct… and the topic is so HELPFUL RIGHT NOW just having finished the course and beginning (feels like I’m just beginning), the practice and discovery. I’m really appreciating tools and discussions for navigating between CHAOS and RIGIDITY, a space that I’m finding is quite foreign me… but, it’s kinda exciting to explore it, and I feel so supported- not alone, and happy to be off the balance beam. 💛

      On that same Hanson podcast, Being Well, the recent interview with Nedra Tawwab about personal boundaries was also powerful and practical. For me it connected with the “owning choice” and self determination aspects of this course.

    • #14840
      Maggie C

      Thanks for flagging up the podcast Cyndi. Really interesting. Will listen to more of them as they look really thought provoking.

    • #14841
      Renée L

      Thanks for recommending this podcast!

      Am going to listen today…hope everyone is well.

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