Hello again !

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    • #9035
      guadalupe
      Participant

      Hello Gillian and everybody, I’ve been a bit lost, a lot of work, a lot of visits and a lot of summer…

      I know that I am not the same as before I started the course, but I also know that I am not making big changes day after day. I go to times, a few weeks I feel like I advance a lot, and then I go back. And so I am … in a constant back and forth. It’s like it’s hard for me to put the concepts learned into practice.

      I hope everyone goes well, and I hope to start the course again! 🙂

    • #9036
      Louise
      Participant

      Hello Guadalupe, it’s nice to see you back on the forum. From my perspective, what you’re describing sounds pretty much how a lot of people experience the course – making progress, making mistakes, and learning from both.

      I have been engaged on and off with Gillian’s approach since I used it to stop smoking in 1999. There have been long periods when I haven’t used the approach at all with overeating, which I rather regret, now that I have reached a point where overeating is no longer a problem for me.

      I think it’s a good idea to do the course again- it has taken several goes for me to get to where I am, and although I probably won’t need to do the course again in October, I wouldn’t hesitate to rejoin if I was struggling.

      In the meantime, I watch the webinars, write down my non weight motivation and, most of all, work through my addictive desire whenever it appears – and it feels great, and just where I always wanted to be with my eating.

    • #9041
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Guadalupe, at the times when you go back to your old overeating behaviour, do you see that you’ve lost any non-weight benefits with that? In other words, what (if anything) do you like about eating less at those times when you feel like you’ve advanced a lot?

    • #9042
      guadalupe
      Participant

      Gillian, In those moments when I feel that I have made some progress, what I like is to feel capable, to feel that I can be in control, and that it makes me better to eat less and eat better. That things can be different and that I can respond differently to a certain impulse. It makes me feel better at the level of digestion, gases, etc.

      But I feel like I still have a strong motivation focused on weight, and issues of wanting to change my body. And I think about eating less to lose weight, and change the shape and size of my body. What do you recommend me? Make a motivational list focused on not losing weight and review it every day or what?

      Because the truth is that I know that thinking about diet and weighing myself does not lead to anything other than eating more or having more anxiety. But sometimes I fall into that behaviour and I don’t know how to get out .

    • #9043
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      “In those moments when I feel that I have made some progress, what I like is to feel capable, to feel that I can be in control, and that it makes me better to eat less and eat better. That things can be different and that I can respond differently to a certain impulse. It makes me feel better at the level of digestion, gases, etc.”

      Fantastic! This is excellent! All you need to do is to keep in sight of this!

      “the truth is that I know that thinking about diet and weighing myself does not lead to anything other than eating more or having more anxiety. But sometimes I fall into that behaviour and I don’t know how to get out”

      The way to get out is first of all to understand that you are not falling into anything – like you’re on a ladder and you miss the next step and you fall off the ladder. You choose to focus once again on your weight – I assume by getting on the scales or whatever it is.

      What will change all of this for you is to become alarmed when you are tempted into this focus on weight behaviour: “Oh no, I’m thinking about getting on the scales… that will lead me back into overeating again… better for me to remind myself of my non-weight benefits and stay on track using that kind of motivation.”

    • #9052
      guadalupe
      Participant

      Hi Gillian! Thank for your answer 🙂
      I dont know what to do to remind myself that I need to keep in sight of this benefits. I dont know if write them in post its all around the house just to remind myself. Or to read non weight motivation list every morning and night..

      Im reading about body acceptance, body neutrality, body image, body positive. And Im going to start doing some workbooks about body trust, body confidence, etc. But not in the way of remain this fat, but yes into the idea that I need and I have to love myself the way I am today. With this shape, size and weight. That I can do things now, also Im fat at this moment and I dont have to wait until xx weight to live my life and for example go to the beach without hiding myself.

      When you say this (i dont know how to put ITALICS ) =D
      <<>>>>>>>>>><< The way to get out is first of all to understand that you are not falling into anything – like you’re on a ladder and you miss the next step and you fall off the ladder. You choose to focus once again on your weight – I assume by getting on the scales or whatever it is.
      What will change all of this for you is to become alarmed when you are tempted into this focus on weight behaviour: “Oh no, I’m thinking about getting on the scales… that will lead me back into overeating again… better for me to remind myself of my non-weight benefits and stay on track using that kind of motivation.” >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      what do you mean about understanding that Im not falling into anything?

      Im more alarmed now when I notice that I think about dieting, and magically modify my body. Sometimes I weight myself but Im not getting deppresed when I see that the number remains the same, is just “ok, normal you weight the same if you are not eating less and doing any substantial change, so be glad that at least you are not gaining weight”. And Im happy with that, with “at least Im not gaining weight”.
      Sometimes I weight myself and once Im there in the scale I tell myself “Why do I do this? if it doesn´t make me fell better, and it doesnt let me move forward in my recovery”

      I just realized that maybe Im going to write a letter to the scale to say goodbye and let it go. And just hide it really well, or better to trash it or give it to someone else; and to do not keep it in my house because if not I go back and weight myself. I was happy that I´ve been like 2 months without going into the scale. But after that 2 months I went back to “check” my weight monthly.. and now.. Im ashamed to say this but Im weighting almost everyday since 2 weeks ago.

      Thanks for reading this <3

    • #9053
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Guadalupe,

      This is an excellent step forward:

      “I’m more alarmed now when I notice that I think about dieting, and magically modify my body.”
      and
      “to do not keep (the scales) in my house because if not I go back and weight myself.”

      As for remembering about all of this, the key is the alarm you now feel when you notice you are moving back into your old weight mindset. You simply become aware of this (which you are now doing), say, “Oh no, I’ve become much too preoccupied with my weight again” and then you deliberately remember some of your non-weight benefits. You connect with, “I hope I do lose weight at some time, but for now I like eating less because I feel more capable, in control, and healthier especially in terms of my digestion.”

      This (paragraph above) will be every bit as important for you as you begin to lose weight as it is now!!! Promise!!!

    • #9065
      guadalupe
      Participant

      Thank you Gillian for your words !!

      I have printed that phrase of “I hope to lose weight ..” so I will stick it out there at home, and also the list of non weight benefits.

      I think I’ll do it in parts, at the moment I’m doing gluten-free, I saw a documentary about gluten the other day and I said … mmm I’m going to try it, I want to feel better.. As Gillian says … you have to try it yourself!

      I want no cereals too, but I didn’t want to cut everything at the same moment because I was afraid of not being able to. At the moment with the gluten free thing I am doing well … and I am not falling into buying everything “gluten free”, so Im ok with that. Im learning to replace things, or to eat new healthy food.

      Im do not eating less really, because Im eating more fruit, more vegetables, and more of everything really, but Im not buying ultraprocessed food and all that. So Im eating more of healthy stuff, next step maybe is to cut cereals, and then to cut the amount of everything using times and plans.

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