I’ve titled my post “I am not a piece of trash” because in working through the exercises this week on non-weight motivation, I’ve discovered that this is actually a huge motivator for me. A long-term relationship has just ended, and I have been treated like a piece of trash for quite a while. It is over now, thankfully, but my self-esteem is shredded. I know I am in serious need of addressing this issue and it really hit home to think that I can rediscover self-respect, self-esteem and self-confidence through tackling my eating issues. It’s a huge motivator for me. I am not a piece of trash, and I don’t need to treat myself and my body like a piece of trash by eating 2 bags of crisps right now, I can feel good about myself and my choices and gain some serious self-respect by leaving them in the cupboard. For example.
I should add that my ex was extremely judgmental about my eating, and was constantly criticising me, and making up rules about what I should and should not be eating (he was insistent that I should follow a fat-free vegan diet like him). He even had eating rules posted on the kitchen cupboard (which I took great pleasure in removing when he left 3 weeks ago). So I have a lot of work to do on self-acceptance and self-compassion (thanks for those links, Gillian) and about building self-esteem through my eating choices.
Nicola, a good site to visit is selfcompassion.org – go to “Practices” and then to “Guided Meditations”. You can download these short audio files and keep on your phone for when you need to listen to something to lift you up a bit.