November 25, 2019 at 9:30 pm #4539
Last nights webinar was so good, thank you. I definitely related to the content.
Today I thought about my “all or none” / “perfectionism” tendencies and realised that there probably is a bit of abstinence going on despite thinking I have total free choice.
So I decided to deliberately eat in an imperfect way and it was so interesting witnessing how my addictive desire and addictive mindset got to work this evening, the excuses I was trying to seduce myself with and the strong hunger it provoked…I am pleased to say so far I have managed to work through it successfully but gosh the desire was strong, just how it used to be before but I was ready for it this time!
So by doing this imperfect eating on and off and hopefully working through desire (mostly) it will help strengthen the neural pathways even more and help me see I can eat imperfectly at times and it not always lead to full blown binges?
November 26, 2019 at 9:10 am #4542GillianKeymaster
Yes, absolutely, although it’s more of a weakening rather than a strengthening in this case. (I mentioned the two processes of neuroplastic change – in Week 3 – if you recall.)
It’s so good that you faced your fear and did this, Lucy. Otherwise you could have done very well for a while, and then when you ate that sort of item, the more intense desire can take you by surprise. You’re not expecting it, so you satisfy it again, and the “I’ve blown it, what the hell” mindset comes into play.
You’ll need to discover for yourself how much of this to do in order to break the mindset and the associated more intense desire. Once again, it’s a “best guess” for you to distinguish that and where you might be using this principle as an excuse to overeat!
If you read Jackie’s post about her pork pie episode, I think she was doing this process even before I spoke about it in Session 6. She posted that eating the pie had “broken the spell” for her, and that’s what I’m talking about.
November 29, 2019 at 5:00 pm #4549
Yes.. a weakening, thanks for pointing that out!
I’ve been away for a few days helping out my dear 90 year old father, its always tricky there as he has more “interesting” food in his house (which I actually buy for him!) the wine & crisps, chocolate biscuits, bread etc all the sorts of things I don’t have at home generally. So I did eat all of the above while I was there, I didn’t think not to eat them actually, but I ate them in normal quantities and now I’m home I just get on and eat my usual relatively healthy food, no problem.
What do you make of this Gillian? Its a well worn pattern for me, enjoying a few treats at Dads and then enjoying eating in a healthier way when I’m home. I guess in the past it has lead to bingeing, but I haven’t been aware of all this new information you have given us then.
I think its my perfectionism tendencies that (in the past) made me think I’d failed because I’ve eaten some crisps etc but now it feels ok to indulge a little occasionally ..but is this addictive mindset at work do you think?
I don’t know what to think about the fact I didn’t try not to eat these things…
November 30, 2019 at 8:49 am #4550GillianKeymaster
Lucy, maybe what’s needed is for you to accept the idea of being “an imperfect work in progress”.
You’ve created some impressive results so far, and now it’s more of a matter of noticing behaviours such as this, and asking yourself if it’s something you want to change at some point, now or in the future. Perhaps it isn’t! Perhaps there is no downside to this bit of overeating, or perhaps you get in touch with what the downside is at a later date, and then implement change.
Seeing the downside is crucial because that’s your motivation to make a change. This is when you flag it up as important, and can alert yourself to the addictive desire when it gets triggered in the circumstance. If it’s not all that important (and it may not be) you are likely to go on automatic with very familiar behaviour.
December 1, 2019 at 5:54 am #4551
Thanks Gillian, at the moment I cannot see much of a downside to this bit of eating , its not even overeating really, the downside is that its not particularly healthy food I suppose , Oh and I suppose the fact that my addictive desire gets triggered. But its such small quantities in the scheme of things I’d say its not much of a problem.
But yes an imperfect work in progress , I like that and I have the choice of changing it in the future if I want, thanks.
December 1, 2019 at 8:04 am #4552NicolaParticipant
Wow, you were brave to deliberately try the “imperfect eating” – what a fascinating account! I haven’t tried that yet (still dong too much imperfect eating in general!) but it’s heartening to hear you share your story. Keep up the good work!
December 1, 2019 at 5:01 pm #4554
Thank you Nicola…yes it went ok, but these last few days I have noticed a few more treats slipping in, at work this weekend for example, I definitely need to be aware, its not plain sailing yet! BUT the major bingeing has stopped..for now…….yippee! X
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