Just saying Hello

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    • #14681
      Penny E
      Participant

      Hello Gillian and new friends. I have just finished the last video in this course and find I swing between thinking all of this is really simple and really difficult. I have discovered my perfectionism and my all or nothing thinking. And my compliance and rebelliousness as well. I am fascinated that each problem has a solution and then creates another problem. And that sometimes the solution creates a different level of addictive desire. One thing I do know for sure though is that I really dislike feeling uncomfortable yet sometimes actively resist listening to the MP3 when I most need it, yet I then go on to overeat and then feel really uncomfortable. This course has certainly made me aware of my thoughts and I am feeling certain of finding a peaceful balance instead of living with the incessant swinging to and fro.
      I enjoy not weighing myself and I have also removed my Fitbit. I am working on how I feel instead of tracking data. At the moment my clothes feel tighter than they did 6 weeks ago but I don’t feel scared about this anymore. I am taking this slowly and feel it incorporating into my life instead of me trying to fit my life into the latest new, glossy and full of promise diet.
      These are truly amazing changes for me. Each day has its ups and downs, of course it does, that is life. I am still fearful but also full of hope as I work with these new skills. And it is work and it is hard sometimes but that is ok. I turn 60 this year and have been dieting since I was 16 years old. I am so happy to experience some freedom from that cage.
      Anyway I just wanted to say hello. I cant get to the Webinars as I am in Australia and start work at 7am but love catching up on the recording. FYI I own a specialty coffee shop and stand in front of a cake fridge for 6 hours a day and since using the MP3 I have lost interest in eating any of the cakes. It’s amazing.
      I look forward to listening to the Webinar this week. And would love to hear your comments 🙂

    • #14684
      Cyndi B.
      Participant

      Hello, Penny~ Your post has a sense of ease running through it.. I’m happy for your “peaceful balance”.
      Yes, I also really appreciate how the course addresses wanting to be perfect/not being perfect and the natural reality and even benefits of navigating that middle space. It seems like a huge segment of the change process- especially considering over eating vs mandatory food needs in the setting of our modern environment. I like how Gillian poses the question.. “Is that REALLY how you want live.. never ever, ever..?”
      When Gillian suggested working with one thing at a time, that cake fridge at your shop does seem like the place to start; what a relief that must be.

    • #14689
      Gillian
      Keymaster

      Hi Penny

      Yes, I agree with you that it is both simple and difficult at the same time. Much like life itself?

      Even though my business is tiny (certainly by online standards) I am truly thrilled to have a world-wide reach. While presenting the Webinar for Week 6 tonight, I shall think of you standing at your cake fridge, and later on watching the replay.

      Hope to ‘see’ you on another course at some time.

      • #14760
        Penny E
        Participant

        Hey Cindi B. Yes I do have a sense of ease now and experience peaceful balance as well. It is a long way from where I started. Just learning this information has really helped me. I feel like my mind has been opened. It is refreshing. Pxx

    • #14714
      Sophia G.
      Participant

      I love what you said, Penny, and I relate to it in my way. Thank you.

      I like the one step at a time idea, as it encourages me when I feel there is more I can do. I look at how much my eating ways have changed and improved already, and it is a lot. I’ve genuinely lost interest in some things too – hooray.

      I think: Okay I am unhappy about meals being sometimes too large still, and eating cake when I have coffee with my special friend tho sometimes I don’t want to but I do want to as well, but it’s our ritual treat together and he will want to share the action with me, therefore challenging, and I have cocoa with milk and honey before bed which is a mini-meal and is in the middle of my non-eating I.F. window. I really like having an IF from the evening till noon if I can – it feels really very healthy, my tummy feels beautifully empty in the morning, and my digestive system loves it. And the cocoa gets in the way. These are specific things I want to change.

      So I can start picking them off now one at a time, one at a time. One at a time is good.
      But I can do them quicker, which I am doing now by picking a specific issue to do now.

      I am appreciating the one step at a time thing more now than I did before. It’s only natural that different things will strike us at different times and different things become more useful at different times. There are a lot of different techniques and different aspects, though it all comes together like driving a car.

      Breaking things down this way stops it looking too challenging. I remember my motivation of good health and no headaches, and longer life too and less pain as I get older.

      Your not being tempted any more by your cakes in your cafe is very impressive and inspiring. And very do-able. Good for you, and thanks for sharing. It is really helpful to see what we can do. We all have the same sort of brains even though our histories are very different, and similar enough psychologies when it comes to addressing addictions/BED etc, and if you can do that, then I can do so-and-so.

      I’ll think of you and your cake fridge and how you have genuinely lost interest, when I’m at a cafe with my friend in 3 hours from now and we’re considering what goodies to have.

    • #14761
      Penny E
      Participant

      Hey Sophia, thanks for replying to my post. It is incredible to lose interest in something especially when I have been so fixated on it in the past, and to be completely honest I often don’t even notice that I have lost interest in it, ie. like the cake fridge until one day I get an addictive desire to eat and then I remember that I haven’t felt that way for a while. I liken it to pain, pain is so intense and so horrible while it is there but when it goes away its not immediately obvious until I notice at some stage that I am actually feeling a bit better.
      For me addictive desire is painful and I don’t like it and now I can understand why I eat to rid myself of that pain even tho it doesn’t work for long and also creates another pain. So now when I call it out and dive down into it and experience it, it does go away and I then have the freedom to move on with my life.
      With having coffee and then cake with your special friend, maybe you could just try one time not having the cake and see what happens, or sharing some cake (that raises addictive desire for me straight away lol as for me sharing is hard). You know you can always have cake in 5 minutes, that it would be “just for now” that you are not having it. I love cake ❤️
      As you say, breaking it down into specifics is really helpful and easier to measure as in one day you realise, wow I just don’t do that any more. Hooray.
      P xx

    • #14762
      Penny E
      Participant

      Hey Gillian,
      I am thrilled that I found your course. I have had your books for years and just thought I would look you up and there it was, your course. I couldn’t believe I had landed there just in time to get the free week and then get started. So yes your tiny online business is doing really well and reaching far off lands.
      P xx

    • #14763
      Robyn
      Participant

      Hi Penny,

      Just thought I’d say “hi” from a fellow Aussie. I’m pleased that you are here and enjoying the content of Gillian’s course. This course makes the most sense of anything I’ve ever tried to stop dieting and gain control of my food addiction, but I will admit I have joined here several times and have struggled to “take a stand” for decent periods of time. That’s no fault at all of this course, but very much me running away from the difficult feeling of addictive desire and looking for other ways to deal with it, but I now absolutely know that the only way to gain control is to do the hard work and sit with the dreadful feeling. The past year has been a difficult one emotionally and I often fell into the trap of telling myself that I just couldn’t deal with my eating now, but that was just a huge excuse.

      I turned 60 in February this year and have dieted since I was 13. I look forward to hearing how you are progressing.
      Best wishes, Robyn x

      • #14765
        Gillian
        Keymaster

        For you, Robyn, and maybe others reading this…

        It’s entirely understandable that the difficulty you experience shows up as “the dreadful feeling” of addictive desire. BUT, this is very likely related to the other two of the Three Themes: denial of free choice and too much interest in weight loss.

        The desire becomes considerably more acceptable when all three themes are integrated in the solution – and I think it’s really important to know that.

    • #14766
      Robyn
      Participant

      Gillian you are, of course, right about integrating the 3 themes to make addictive desire more acceptable. Thank you for the reminder. I’ve been working a lot on choice and motivation recently and feel much more confident with both of them. Keeping my focus on the 3 themes and not allowing myself to be searching for some other way is very important and I’m determined not to give up.
      Also Gillian I have found the Client stories in this course to be very motivating and helpful. Thank you again 😊

      • #14767
        Gillian
        Moderator

        Sounds really good, Robyn.

        As for working on choice, the process at 4.5 is a powerful one, working both as an exploration and an affirmation. It’s good to do it often.

        And thanks for your feedback on the client stories. They take a lot of time to edit, but such fun for me to do.

    • #14768
      Robyn
      Participant

      Gillian, I have been working on 4.5 but not often enough, so I’ll make it a practice to do it more often 😊

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