“Justified” overeating

[LizParticipant]

I have noticed something about myself.

Last night, I had dinner and was full. Immediately, my A/D pops up to tell me to have some cookies, ice cream, candy. “YOU DESERVE IT”, “YOU DIDN’T EAT THAT MUCH TODAY.”

(Sidenote: I usually am not hungry in the morning and eat not until about noon, then some fruit in the afternoon and a regular dinner.)

I do not NEED the food as my belly is full, but my brain is telling me that “you haven’t eaten junk or that much all day so go ahead”.

I think if I’m being honest with myself, I have a fear at night that if I don’t have the treats after dinner, food is boring, not fun, and I’m just disappointed. That’s eye-opening because a bag of M&Ms is fun for a minute and that’s it.

But, if I overeat, I have a headache and land myself in the same predicament I was in and have been in for years.

Sorry for the rambling, but I feel like I have a dual personality. I am eating enough, I think, in the day, but really that shouldn’t even play into whether or not I give into my addictive desire. If I legitamitely got hungry after dinner, something like cheese and nuts would sound good, not high-sugar food.

Is the addictive desire telling me to keep eating because I really haven’t eaten THAT much all day and I need to amp up my food?
Or is this thought just another way to “get away with” overeating?
I’m pretty sure I know the answer to my own question…:)

[Julie MannParticipant]

Liz, as someone who often overeats after dinner, my two cents is that this is all addictive desire, and has nothing to do with your daily intake.
I know for me that I’m never hungry after I’ve eaten dinner. When I take more food it’s because I’m saying things to myself like, “I’ll just have one more bite or I need a break or it tastes so good…” which then leads to an endless meal, where I am too full, sleep poorly, wake upset with myself, feel out of alignment, have poor digestion, etc. In fact this happened last night.
There was no need for food.
I too use IF during the day, I generally eat two meals. I KNOW that any story my mind gives me after dinner about eating more is always AD…

[LizParticipant]

Gosh dangit, Julie! Mic drop! This is so true and exactly what I need to hear. Thank you for relating and explaining. I appreciate it so much!

[Julie MannParticipant]

I’m happy to help Liz. We’re on this journey together and we will all lift each other up, help each other see where that sneaky AD creeps in. It’s so great that you posted!

[GillianModerator]

Three things you can be sure of:

1. most (if not all) evening meals will end with addictive desire
2. any interest in food that contains sugar is addictive desire
3. every addictive desire will have a justification for satisfying it

[LouiseParticipant]

That’s a handy list, thank you Gillian! I will use that as I am trying to cut down on daily puddings in the evening as my next goal. I have pretty much stopped buying commercial puddings, so they are pretty healthy, but often including (vegan) ice cream and a sweet sauce too. I’ve got the size of my meal down now (yay!), but I want to be able to finish my first course and only sometimes to have a pudding, rather as I would when eating out. Does that sound like a reasonable goal and not too restrictive?

Liz, it sounds as if you are really aware of your AD now, which has been the way in for me. It took a while for my AD to surface because I was being compliant, but there’s no mistaking a desire for M&Ms as AD! It wouldn’t matter how much healthy food you had eaten that day – you would still want to eat sweets, chocolate etc, because they are addictive. So next step is to work through that desire (the MP3 is brilliant for that) and to make a considered decision about whether to eat it, taking account of both the immediate sugar high, and the downsides, whatever they are for you. Hope that helps; your posts have certainly guided me in understanding the AD I experience in the evenings, which I now work through.

Looking forward to the webinar as I feel in need of a Gillian top-up, but so far, so good – I am really enjoying having the whiphand over my desire to overeat at the moment.

[LizParticipant]

Thank you, Gillian, Louise and Julie.
This is very helpful. You’re completely right, that my A/D comes in the form of wanting sugar, after a meal. I’m excited to work through it.
I’m just returning this morning from camping with extended family. WE had some decent meals, but a LOT of treats, candy, and such.
I notice my addictive desire pop up after having only ONE s’more. One s’more doesn’t feel like my addictive desire, but the desire for TONS MORE after that does.
I don’t see my life completely without sugar or treats, but I do see my life having a cookie with my kids once in awhile, an ice cream on a hot day with my family.
The A/D is the part that comes AFTERWARDS…and boy am I familiar with that insatiable desire for MORE.

[Julie MannParticipant]

Liz, what great awareness. And if you were able to have just one smore and worked through your desire for more after, it seems you’ve hit the jackpot!

[LouiseParticipant]

Hi Liz, that’s great you are recognising your addictive desire – when I first started, it took a while for my AD to surface, but using Plans to prepare smaller meals really helped me to be aware of it.

I do think, however, that any desire for sweets, biscuits, cake etc is addictive – right from noticing the thought that you want something sweet. I do eat sweet things occasionally 😋 but I do think of that as addictive eating. I am ok with that, and because I generally have a Plan for how much I will eat of the addictive food, I can see when the AD demands more. Most times I work through that (not always successfully, but I would say I am about 80% successful at the moment).

One thing I like about the method is that I can indulge my sweet tooth from time to time, instead of either bingeing in an out of control way, or abstaining completely. It’s that ability to eat small amounts of sweet treats occasionally that I think of as a ‘normal’ relationship with food, and that’s been something I have longed fo, for many years!

[Julie MannParticipant]

So great Louise!!

[LizParticipant]

Love this insight from you, Louise. SO WISE! :

“I do think, however, that any desire for sweets, biscuits, cake etc is addictive – right from noticing the thought that you want something sweet. I do eat sweet things occasionally 😋 but I do think of that as addictive eating. I am ok with that, and because I generally have a Plan for how much I will eat of the addictive food, I can see when the AD demands more. Most times I work through that (not always successfully, but I would say I am about 80% successful at the moment).”

This is super helpful in drawing lines between the Addictive eating. Thank you for sharing!

[Anne MarieParticipant]

Liz, 80% successful is HUGE and I honor that change you’re making!

Also, your story about the camping and the s’mores was very helpful for me, because I can see in myself the same kind of thing… Not that I am camping… :-)… But sometimes wanting a cookie is just wanting a cookie, and then the addictive desire kicks in AFTERWARDS, and the same thing with a scoop of ice cream or one chocolate nonpareil from my favourite place in Maine.

So, I thank you for pointing this out to me because I wasn’t aware that this was happening and now that I am aware of it, it will be much easier for me to face it and deal with it in the future.

Anne Marie in MA

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