- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 months ago by Gillian.
May 19, 2021 at 11:50 am #14411Ani GParticipant
Hey Gillian and others,
I joined late and have been consuming the content eagerly to catch up. I am watching all the videos and doing the exercises. I am caught up and feel I have a good grasp on the concepts which I can now see where I am going wrong in the past (focusing on weight loss as my sole motivation, zero freedom of choice, and just trying to ignore/distract or give into my addictive desire) but now I know all of this and have taken the focus off weight loss and am actively giving myself freedom of choice to ‘eat anything and everything whenever I like’ I AM!! I think I’m focusing too much of the freedom of choice aspect and less on the ‘how will I feel if I eat this’ aspect because I am now like a kid who has been let loose in a toy store for the first time!
I know it’s early days, maybe I’m expecting too much this early. I want to try PLANS and TIMES but have done lots of fasting and restrictive plans so will need to make sure I’m not slipping back into the controlling patterns and doing it the way you outline in the videos. Using them as tools to work through my addictive desire – not just feed it more!
Anyway I guess I need some encouragement or tips to help put it into practice in the moment rather than say ‘this feels too hard right now’ and just eat whatever I like. This is a great program I hope I can get better at putting it all together as we go!
May 19, 2021 at 1:10 pm #14412GillianModerator
I suggest you pick just one thing (behaviour) to practise, and remind yourself it’s just for now because you can change your mind and overeat another time.
My guess is you are stuck in rebellion due to an “all-or-none” and/or “now-and-forever” dieting mindset.
The “Working Through” video and mp3 will be important for you, as this is what keeps you from slipping back into those old controlling patterns of thought.
May 19, 2021 at 10:16 pm #14419Ani GParticipant
Thanks Gillian! You are 100% correct. I am a long time ‘all or nothing’ ‘now or never’ dieter. My biggest issues are snacking/grazing/picking at food constantly. I just have this strong urge to eat whenever I see food which is difficult as I have two little kids and husband and I do all the cooking and food preparation. So I’m always around food, cooking, leftovers etc. the problem is I want to change it all now! Haha so would you suggest I focus on ‘grazing’ in general or ‘grazing after work/before dinner’ ?? I’m not even hungry when I wake up but when I make my kids healthy pancakes/waffles, or eggs etc I just want to eat it too! I tried this morning to tak myself out of it but then end up going ‘f’it, I’ve had a crappy night sleep I’m tired and I don’t have the energy for this, I want pancakes’
May 19, 2021 at 11:01 pm #14421Cyndi B.Participant
Hi Ani~ Glad you posted to say hello and check in. You asked for encouragement (good for you!)- You have my whole hearted support sent your way. Step one in the working through desire tool truly is foundational: Breath. Remembering to notice this breath is the paradigm shift where change is possible.
You asked for tips, these help me-
Now that you’re caught up 🙂
Re-reading the course material is helpful to me, like if I have just a couple of minutes… scrolling to a page in the eBook or the final notes in any section. Re-listening to videos also, and the Week 2: Choice webinar has been especially helpful for me to listen to three times so far (sped up, while cooking.) When answering questions during webinars, Gillian is in essence explaining the same concept from multiple angles; I hear something new to consider or let soak in each time.
May 20, 2021 at 9:02 am #14422GillianKeymaster
To respond to your question, “would you suggest I focus on ‘grazing’ in general or ‘grazing after work/before dinner’” I firmly believe it’s best for you to make these decisions yourself.
It would be great if you can eat less in a way that’s likely to bring you some non-weight benefit. For example, not snacking before dinner may result in you enjoying your meal more. Or maybe you can figure out how to eat (or not eat) later in the day to get a better night’s sleep. But these are just examples! And, best to take baby steps!
And, there are people who don’t make changes in their eating the first time they do the course. They do the course a second time, and that’s when they put it into practise. It’s up to you 🙂
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