- This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 2 months ago by Victoria.
April 11, 2019 at 9:49 pm #2602VictoriaParticipant
Hi Gillian, hi everyone,
I have been really trying to keep in mind non-weight related motivation but whenever I catch sight of myself in a full length mirror I feel an overwhelming sense of shame about my size and I get sucked back into weight-related thinking. I immediately tell myself that I have to lose weight and I want to reassure myself that I will be really good tomorrow and go on a crash diet and start losing weight but I stop myself, as I now know this isn’t a helpful strategy. Does anyone have any suggestions for more helpful thoughts?
April 12, 2019 at 12:44 am #2603RobynParticipant
I struggle A LOT with worrying about my weight…it’s almost like a life long obsession…and I know that if I continue dieting nothing will ever change. I will stay stuck in that awful mental place. My non-weight motivation thoughts are that I want to be free of the disordered eating and thinking, and also I’m hoping to retire from work in a few years, so another thought is that I want to go into retirement being as healthy as possible and free of the dysfunction.
Best of luck,
April 12, 2019 at 11:23 am #2604Sarah MacParticipant
I hate my body all the time and feel constant guilt and shame about how massive it is and how it’s my fault that it is that way. I am trying to switch my focus to what’s going on inside my body rather than obsess about the fat on it – make my eating choices based on my desire to heal both my relationship with food and my fatty liver. It’s not an easy shift but it’s got to be better than the same old same old of ‘I hate myself because i’m fat’.
April 13, 2019 at 8:15 am #2605GillianModerator
I took a look at the non-weight motivation you posted here:
and wonder if you’ve achieved these things.
If not, what is standing in your way? And if you have, are you forgetting these benefits now or taking them for granted?
And maybe there’s new non-weight motivation for you to explore?
April 13, 2019 at 11:37 am #2606VictoriaParticipant
Hi everyone, thanks for the replies.
I still have non-weight related motivations, and they are the reasons that I am working through some of my addictive desire. But when I struggle is in that moment when I see myself, not when I am eating, when I am at the gym or in a shop window, when I feel that sense of shame and this is when my weight comes to the forefront of my mind, so I am trying to find a better way to deal with this feeling. I do like the idea of switching thoughts to what’s going on inside my body, rather than obsessing about the fat on it. And being healthy and free from disordered eating is what I want. I had thought that maybe telling myself that, if I look after my health, my weight will look after itself, this may help to appease my huge dissatisfaction with my body in that moment. What I’m saying here is recognising that my health comes first and if I invest time and effort into working towards that, my size will reduce. Is that a healthier way to deal with these feelings?
April 13, 2019 at 12:11 pm #2607GillianModerator
Yes, Victoria, absolutely. That’s it. You’ve already seen non-weight benefits from reducing your carb intake. What I would do is find ways to build on that; especially less carbs (or even none) earlier in the day, breakfast and lunch maybe? The health benefits are real, have strong evidence, and shown to be most effective at fat (but not lean mass) loss, which is also what you want.
April 13, 2019 at 5:04 pm #2608Sarah MacParticipant
Hi again Victoria
I have felt shame about my body even when it wasn’t all that big. All my shame has done for me is to make me more obsessed with weight and in turn, ultimately, made me eat more which of course has meant getting heavier. A strange paradox but very real nevertheless. I keep thinking back to what Gillian said in one of the first sessions where she said that one of her clients would wake up every morning and think ‘i’m still huge’. I definitely have that every morning but I am trying to counter it with these thoughts: ‘yes for now I am. And may always be. Who knows? All that I do know is that being in more control of my eating feels good’. I have to keep saying it to myself to get it to go in!
April 13, 2019 at 5:19 pm #2609VictoriaParticipant
Thanks for that Gillian, I will keep experimenting with less carbs and more fat. I know I feel better eating this way.
April 13, 2019 at 5:43 pm #2610VictoriaParticipant
Thanks for that Sarah, yes I think that all my shame has done is driven me to eat more too which proves how unhelpful it is. I feel huge and yes I too wake up thinking about my size. I try to put it out of mind but seeing myself pulls me right back to into that frame of mind. I watched the session about choice again today where Gillian talks about that lady, which I didn’t pick up on first time round – it just goes to show the value in revisiting sessions. I will try and remember that thought next time I feel like that. It’s more accepting of the current situation (which we can’t do anything about at that moment), it opens up the possibility for change without promising anything, and it also reinforces non-weight related motivation by recognising that it feels better to eat this way.
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