Need some help with Week 3 how-to as it applies to me

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    • #12021

      Hi, Gillian.

      I’m having a bit of trouble with this section and wrapping my head around it in my circumstance. I have just finished watching the videos in this section for the first go-around and haven’t put it into practice yet, however, I do understand it intellectually, but I’m trying to understand how to do it as it applies to me. Ok. So, I think most of the time my cue is dinner-time, and I always eat with my family (sometimes while prepping if I’m really hungry because I missed eating my snack, but not usually). In that moment, at dinner, I don’t feel the huge threatening monster; I don’t have a tight knot or a feeling of angst. I want to eat, and I feel fine. So, the overeating is usually mindless for me. We’re engaging in interesting conversation, for example, and when the meal is done, I’ve realized that I’ve eaten way too much (and way too much of healthy food as well as dessert food). So, how do I “Pause, breathe, notice sensations” and “Name it as an addictive desire to eat”, when I’m not aware of it? Thank you.

    • #12022


      More on this in Week 4 with “Plans”, but there are a couple of things you can try first of all – either one or both. One is to begin to practise in a circumstance where you won’t be quite so distracted by conversations. Then, when you’ve gained more of an ability to spot and manage your addictive desire, you move on to more distracting situations.

      And another is to make at least some of the excess food at dinner less available, especially if you can do that in a way that’s a bit unusual. The difference in your routine would tend to wake you up in a sort of “why did I put the ice cream in the oven?” way, as you search for another scoop or two. Then, at that moment, you become aware of the desire.

      You say, “I don’t feel the huge threatening monster; I don’t have a tight knot or a feeling of angst” and that might be because you’ve not done any dieting, which creates this sort of extreme negativity around unsatisfied desire. But also because you have always tended to feed the desire, albeit unconsciously. So the question is: if you leave it unsatisfied at any point, what will you then feel? TBA.

    • #12030

      Thank you, Gillian. You are quite right when you say that I have not done any dieting. I do now have conversations with myself about eating more or not (at lunch and snack time), and thinking about my motivation and my free choice (and sometimes I eat it and sometimes I don’t), but I haven’t done it at dinner yet. Dinner/dessert is my day-to-day problem. I will think about all of this and try to apply your suggestions and see what happens – especially if I don’t eat it; I leave it unsatisfied, how will I feel? Thank you.

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