Note from the trenches

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    • #4446

      Hi Gillian and everyone,

      I’m having some successes with working through my desire, and some failures too. I have to confess the following…

      The other day I had an addictive to desire to eat a packet of crisps, and as the thought came to me that I should “work through” my desire instead of giving in to it, I literally sprinted through the house to the crisps cupboard so that I could “outrun” my thought process and get to the crisps first! You have to laugh, don’t you?!

      I’ve also had some rebellious thoughts at time such as “Just because I’m on this course doesn’t mean I have to be perfect – I’m perfectly free to overeat and here I go.”

      I have also had some successes with Times and Plans and working through addicting desire, but it’s a mixed bag. However, when the successes happen, they feel huge. Wednesday night is a big trigger for me as I get in late from an evening class and feel I “deserve” a treat for such a long, hard day. I made a Plan before I left home that when I got back I’d real with a cup of my favourite herbal tea instead of the wine and crisps and it worked – meaning, I didn’t have the wine and crisps AND I didn’t feel deprived, but felt quietly happy and relaxed about my choice.

      I’d love to hear some examples of how others are getting on, both eh “good” and the “bad”!


    • #4447

      Sorry about the typing – that should say my plan last night was to RELAX with a cup of tea…

    • #4448

      Hello Nicola

      You write so beautifully about your experiences and It makes me smile. I quite clearly recognise the feeling of wanting to ‘outrun’ the thought processes.
      However, I have had a much gentler experience of the course this time around.
      Over the past few weeks I have drunk wine, eaten cake and gobbled on chocolate daily, so it seems on the outside that the course hasn’t worked for me. However, I would like to add that I have much, much less wine than normal, I’ve had much less cake than normal, plus one chocolate bar lasted me a whole week!!!! (Never heard of before)

      So I do feel that by making positive choices rather than being ruled by complusion I’m now in a much better place.

      Physically I don’t feel too much difference, but mentally I feel more in control. I also feel more empowered to look after myself and build my self esteem.

      This is my experience so far.
      It would be nice to hear from others too.


    • #4449

      Hi Nicola, hi everyone,

      That’s good that you are having some successes, well done.
      I am the same, I have had successes but also failures. Gillian did say we shouldn’t try to work on everything at once. I can totally relate to quickly eating something to try and beat the thought processes, I have done this too!

      I have managed to prevent myself from bingeing on biscuits from the supermarket for several months now since I read Gillian’s book before starting the course. And i successfully overcame the desire in the supermarket last weekend which was great and really effective. But i struggle with overeating at dinner time (large portions and going back for seconds and dessert) and having afternoon snacks out of habit. I am finding it hard not to feel deprived using times and plans for these occasions. My rebellious streak is hard to remove even though I am telling myself I have free choice. Maybe I still don’t really believe this after so many years of forcing myself to live by certain rules.
      I’m going out for dinner tonight with my husband and I will plan to choose a low carb meal without wine as this is so much better for my blood sugar levels (I’m a diabetic). It’s hard not to see meals out as a treat where I can indulge as this is how I have viewed them for such a long time. Also I have a party coming up on Saturday which I am partly dreading because of my inner torment on what to eat and whether I can hold myself back from overeating. If i use planning to say i will only have one piece of cake and no alcohol i immediately feel rebellious! I’m trying to focus on the benefits of my choice and the peace it will bring me long term to be able to control my eating.

    • #4450

      Hi all,
      I love reading about how others are dealing with addictive desire. I’ve definitely been doing 2 steps forward and 1 back (sometimes 3 steps back!!). It’s been a massive process for me to stop focusing ALL THE TIME on my weight and also truly feeling like I have a choice in what I eat. My choice was taken away from me when I was 11 years old and I’m now in my late 50’s and starting to see that I can choose for myself, with no guilt attached.
      I’ve been having some wins with addictive desire and know that when I focus on the 3 themes, I do well. I’m also allowing myself to eat imperfectly, which is absolutely massive for me. Previously if I deviated from my plan at all, it would mean I’d end up in binge mode for weeks. I can now see that doing this work is no quick fix and it’s taken me a long time to come to terms with that.

    • #4451

      Hi all,

      Great to hear peoples experiences. I’ve been doing ok too. Ever since I realised it doesn’t have to be perfect and its a process I have felt much more relaxed about it. My break through is I haven’t had any full blown binges at all lately and although I can feel addictive desire come up around my love of dark chocolate (and large portions of potatoes in the evening meal) I am eating a bit less of it.
      Next time I go shopping I am going to try and work through the desire and not buy the chocolate in the first place and see how I go!

      I have found in the past that PMT causes me to go into overdrive with the eating but this month that has not happened to my amazement, in fact food is not so interesting and I’m feeling fuller much quicker… can that be I wonder?

      Because my appetite has reduced so significantly I am thinking oh maybe I’ve gone into compliance….but Ive not started following any rules, its just that my interest in food is less….its quite a bizzare thing!
      I can’t quite believe it and think it may revert back to how it was before….

      Good luck everybody. x

    • #4453

      Thanks, everyone, for sharing your stories and comments. It’s good to feel part of a community with this issue, and to learn from other people’s struggles and insights.

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