July 30, 2020 at 5:49 pm #8871
Thanks Julie for making the suggestion for a one on one with Gillian. I was dealing with anxiety about my addictive desire, so I scheduled a session. Like Julie, I highly recommend the individual session. It is so beneficial. Gillian listens to the words I use and my emotion about it all and is able to provide direction specific to me. I have had several sessions over the years and she always hits the nail on the head! Sometimes we need individual attention when sorting all this out. Gillian does a great job coaching on the forum but the individual sessions provides a lot of value.
I strongly suggest you give it a try if you hit a bump in the road. It has always been worth every penny!
Again, thank you Julie!!
July 30, 2020 at 5:57 pm #8872
Julia so glad you shared your experience as well!
July 30, 2020 at 7:54 pm #8873LizParticipant
Thank you for sharing! I think I’ll book a session immediately! I would love to work through this with her.💕
August 1, 2020 at 12:39 am #8878
I wanted to share notes from my one on one session with Gillian. Others may get benefit or learn from my learning.
The reason for my call: I had a very intense desire, at least a 10 on a scale of 1-10! It was very disturbing to me. I shared with Gillian my goal is to be at peace with food. Having this intense desire resulting in me eating a candy bar and a piece of cinnamon toast upset me. At the time of eating those foods, I did not care about outcomes, or about working thru the desire. I only wanted sugar. That upset me too! I was not using or reaching for my tools that I have learned.
Gillian pointed out, in order to be a peace with food I need to be flexible. Going with the ebb and flow, knowing atypical situations happen. She recommended the next time I eat a food that is not part of my plan/regular diet, something out of the blue: Observe. What happened afterward? And not attaching a high level of anxiety with that.
She pointed out, that wanting to be at peace all the time is unreasonable.
Being flexible = will bring me peace.
Being rigid will not bring me peace.
She kindly gave me the example of someone that meditates. That person is more calm, more relaxed. However this person is not walking around in this state every second of the day. If they lost their credit card they would likely freak out.
I reflected on our session and realized we have donuts in our home 4-5 times a year. This past week I had one and then made the choice I did not want to continue eating that type of food. Please know, not long ago I ate half or 6 out of the 8 in the box. I could not keep my hands off of anything with sugar and fat. I realize I am in awesome place! And I know the next time there is an addictive food I may have two, who knows? I am okay with that! And I just want to observe and think, how did that make me feel, with no judgment.
My aim is to overeat less—I certainly am doing that!
My aim is not to never overeat.
Gillian says this is all about being good enough, not perfect!
Please know I do not feel I have nailed it! When I have taken that stand in the past it has come back to bite me in the backside. For me this is about relaxing, knowing there will be times when I want or see a food out of the blue. I don’t have to go thru the steps of desire every time. It is not about doing it 100%. She has told us that over and over—it is about overeating less often! My session resulted in a significant learning for me.
This is why I recommend one on one sessions. It can be very difficult to address some issues via the forum or the course.
August 2, 2020 at 7:30 pm #8887
Thanks for posting that Julia; it’s so helpful to hear about real experiences.
Perfection and ‘all or none’ are a danger for me too, and feeling terrible regret after eating addictively. Knowing that sometimes I will eat addictively helps me to relax about it, and not go into full-on binge mode if I do overeat. This is huge for me: in the past, a slip-up has meant I go into ‘what the hell’ mode and eat everything in sight, with heartfelt promises to start again tomorrow. A few times now, that has not happened, so I have eaten addictively, but stopped before my desire was satiated, and then worked through it. The sense of achievement in doing that is tremendous.
I think all of us on the course can give ourselves credit for the progress we have made, whatever point we are at, because there is no final destination, just an ability to eat less than we did before, without feeling restricted about it.
August 2, 2020 at 8:55 pm #8888
I agree Louise! We need to acknowledge our changes and focus on our growth vs. our mistakes. Like a toddler learning to walk: get up, brush ourselves off, and take another step!
August 3, 2020 at 9:24 pm #8897
Louise and Julia, YES to acknowledging our growth and moving forward!!
August 5, 2020 at 3:47 pm #8903LizParticipant
Julia, I’m reading through your notes from your session with Gillian. Thank you for taking the time to write them out! They are helpful.
I, too, feel my desire is at a “10” after dinner lately for addictive foods. And I’m justifying it with the thought of how much I exercised or how healthy I ate that day. After re-watching the mindset solution video, I’m realizing how much I JUSTIFY it by thoughts I say to myself “it’s deserved, this is what I do.”
My brain is just trying to keep me alive. It doesn’t realize that there’s an abundance of food.
Candy is addictive by nature! I should know that!
But addictive foods never just end with a single candy bar for me. It ends with a full-blown binge, like last night.
I could work on my all/none thinking.
I think focusing on not being perfect about my addictive mindset, allowing and expecting it to come along with me, and working WITH it, not just fighting it will be helpful.
For instance, learning that if I have a cookie or something after dinner, all is not lost. Enjoy it and move on.
THAT is my goal with this entire course–not to eat perfectly, but to overeat less. I need to keep reminding myself of that!
Thank you for your insights!
- This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Liz.
August 7, 2020 at 4:10 am #8921
Gillian has taught us when we eat that sugar/addictive food, what follows is the addictive desire. And that is our moment to embrace vs resist. She talked about that in the last Q&A. She would be out of a job if the addictive desire was simply handled by everyone. That session was huge for me. I was in a space of looking for something. Was thinking maybe if I took on self-esteem, maybe that was what was missing. I realized I very simply just need to use the tools we have, vs looking outside for something else (she mentioned another diet, or regulating blood sugar).
I like Renee’s focus on the 3 themes (in a different strand). That is impressive because she is staying on track, not falling for distractions.
August 7, 2020 at 11:14 am #8945
Love your post Julia. I find myself at a similar stage – and it has taken me a while to get there as I have lost my way a few times! You are so right that welcoming addictive desire rather than resisting it is absolutely key. And yes – just using the few simple tools and themes Gillian has provided and not trying to be perfect.
I think the online material and regular webinars have made the difference for me. Being able to revisit and dig deeper into Gillian’s philosophy has helped to embed her ideas, and they are part of life now.
Gillian really should be on prescription with the NHS!
August 9, 2020 at 7:20 pm #8965
Love the suggestion for Gillian to be on prescription with the NHS! I am thinking she should be nominated for a Nobel Prize! Anyone know how to go about doing that?
August 9, 2020 at 7:44 pm #8966
LOL, yes to Nobel Prize for Gillian and for her to be available by prescription. And yes that it’s all about embracing our AD and accepting it as our path to healing!!
August 9, 2020 at 11:04 pm #8967MoParticipant
I agree Julie- “embracing our AD and accepting it as our path to healing” is so important. For weeks and weeks I acknowledged my AD but refused to work through it. I was scared of not being allowed to have my treat. I saw it as a restriction and rebelled. But once I got my motivation right through overeating on sugar and dairy and becoming quite ill the next day – it became quite clear. I can over eat on sugary foods but I’ll feel ill the next day. It’s my choice! So by working through my AD I have been able to make progress. Everything seems so much clearer to me. But I’m not there yet I’ll keep on keeping on by making my choices and owning them fully.
Thanks again Gillian for ELO.
- This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Mo.
August 10, 2020 at 1:33 am #8969
That’s great progress Mo!
August 10, 2020 at 11:34 am #8970
That’s great to hear Mo. I don’t know any other course that helps you to use you own experience to make decisions about what to eat and when. So simple, but it works!
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