Penny might ever so slowly be dropping on choice and all or nothing thinking

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    • #10332

      Hi all and Gillian,

      At the risk of overloading this forum with my thoughts and questions I have another half-formed insight that I want to put out there and get feedback on.

      After watching last weeks lectures and the first half hour of yesterday’s seminar (I was sad to leave!) I finally recognized that I have an all or nothing way of thinking about tackling this problem of overeating. I finally got it that I think I have to tackle this overeating means “No more overeating. Ever. Again” I wasn’t even aware I thought like that. I finally got that the title of this course and your books Gillian “Eating less” – A title that had always frustrated me by the way because it was so vague and fuzzy and undefinitive. And now I get it. I can just eat less (if I choose to)!!! I don’t have to go on a diet, a food plan, an eating disorder program. I don’t ever have to do anything ever again with respect to my eating if I don’t want to. It doesn’t have to be so life changing/new person/metamorphosis/new me-ish/new person …all-or-nothing…ever again!

      I just got it! And it feels like freedom.

      So I guess I have had an insight about choice. In that even though I knew it intellectually. I didn’t really feel it in my bones.

      But, for me, the key to that insight, the thing that loosened up the glue of not owning that choice was through recognizing the all or nothing thinking. Once I relaxed that, somehow I saw that I had choices.

      for me, I could eat a bit less at certain times of the day (the evenings and between meals), and hopefully curtail my binges, and that would be absolutely fine. I don’t have to eat perfectly, a perfect food plan, weigh and measure my food, and avoid certain foods altogether.

      I’ve had long stretches where I haven’t had this problem, where I was thin, and never once did I weigh or measure my food, follow a food plan or avoid certain foods. Every few weeks the lab I worked in would get a giant cake to celebrate someone’s birthday and I would eat a couple of slices and it meant absolutely nothing – for the rest of the day or about me.

      I want freedom and flexibility.

      I think I am slowly, slowly getting it. So thank you.

      I just wonder what other choices I have that I am totally blind to.

    • #10336

      Jane, this all sounds great.

      You ask for feedback and all I can add is that, “I am slowly, slowly getting it” assumes you know for sure there’s a more appropriate length of time for all of this to sink in.

      How about, “this process of discovery is unfolding at just the right pace”?

      Three cheers for freedom and flexibility. I’m so with you on that.

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