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I just wanted to say how very useful Sunday’s webinar was to me in ‘finding’ my addictive desire through using Plans.
I don’t generally have any difficulty with Times, because since I did Gillian’s course last year, I rarely want to eat between meals. Eating three regular meals a day has just fallen into place, and I don’t think about that any more. However, all the way through I have found it hard to experience my addictive desire. What I do feel is usually very fleeting, and hard to pin down, and I think this is because I am suppressing it and being compliant.
Since Sunday, I have used Plans to put less on my plate, and that has awakened my addictive desire with a vengeance! I hadn’t realised that I was probably eating more than I needed, so now I am putting out helpings that are just under what I would really like. This has helped so much in surfacing my addictive desire, so that I can go through the steps to accept it, rather than reinforcing it by satisfying it. I’ve also found it helpful to make a choice ‘just for now’.
I spend a few minutes every day writing down my non-weight motivations, in preparation for when these slightly smaller meals might have an effect on my size.
Thank you Gillian. I feel as if a really big hurdle has been overcome this week.
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Dear Louise, i totally know what you meen. Last sunday webinar was like an eye opener for me. I feel like you. Between meels, snacking and grabbing is not longer necessary, but the quantity of my evening meal is more than i need. So i decided to work with Plans and my addictive desire appeared.
I worked through it. And suddenly a lot of thoughts of losing weight and getting slimmer appeared.
Your idea of writing down every day something about your non weight motivation sounds very helpfull to me, i will do the same.
We are not alone.
Greetings gunici -
Louise what a great realization.
Side note, I write my NSV’s daily as well, have done that for years. It’s a very good practice, helping me focus on what really matters and what I can always experience NOW regardless of my weight/size.
Back to the use of plans to awaken desire. How true that is. When I commit to a smaller portion, boy do I hear that addictive voice, usually it says, “that’s not enough”, something connected to lack. It is in those moments that I pause, breathe, and remind myself that it’s plenty, that I will eat slowly and savor it, AND that I can handle the slightly uncomfortable feeling of wanting more and not satisfying it because not only will that feeling pass, but when it does I will be so glad that I let it pass. I focus on how amazing I’ll feel the next day, etc.
Having said that, there are still many days when I bypass this and take extra food.
The great news is that as Gillian keeps reminding us, perfection isn’t required or possible. So even with these days when I do take more food, I’m still so much better off than I was years ago. And taking a macro view of it all, most days I eat far less! -
Thanks for this Louise. Really helpful. I have realised I have no idea what a good portion size for me will be. I’ve definitely been serving myself too much – and I think On too big a plate. I tried transferring my food from a large dinner plate to a smaller one – and suddenly the portion looked huge. Apparently our dinner plates now are much larger than they were in say 50s or 60s. A charity shop worker told me they often have issues selling ld crockery as people say it looks too small!!!
Pen xx
This course is a great learning experience
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That explains a lot Penny – I hadn’t really thought about it, but my plates are all mostly quite old, and I don’t really have any big plates! But it’s true that portion size has changed a lot since I was younger (I’m in my sixties). For example, what used to be called ‘fairy cakes’ were probably about 2 bites and had just a bit of icing on top, but now ‘cupcakes’ are huge and very tall, with most of that height taken up by icing!
I know that somewhere in the book, Gillian talks about food manufacturers and how, like the tobacco industry, they have little concern for the health of the people who buy their products. If something is advertised heavily, you can be sure it is probably unhealthy. Sometimes I have used my annoyance about this as a non-weight motivation, and it works quite well.
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Very useful notes, Louise and all.
I have been starting to use both tools this week and I find much more challenging Plans, because for me it requires to be absolutely sincere, fair and clear with myself from the beginning, and the addictive desire is much more powerful once you have been eating.
I am trying to challenge myself guessing and trying better each time and the more difficulty is that I know, from the beginning, that the addictive desire will be there waiting for me, and sometimes I am scared.
Times is feeling easier, because I am realizing how many many many times I used to eat just because the food was available. What I do sometimes, is to expose on purpose to me to the food, looking at it and experience and being conscious of the food staying there and me deciding not to eat it. It is so powerful, being able to coexist with it out of my stomach! -
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