- This topic has 9 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by Louise.
July 7, 2020 at 6:13 am #8383LizParticipant
I had a “binge” tonight. I didn’t just overeat, but I had two big ice cream cones, severeal bowls of sugar cereal…all after dinner. The thing is, I do this quite often and then through exercise and healthier choices in the day, I stay at a regualr size.
The question I have for Gillian is this…do I start introducting the foods I binge on earlier in the day? I have ZERO desire for cereal or ice cream early in the day, but after 9pm, I’m a different person!
I understand I’m choosing to feel ill tonight as I go to bed. I recognize that I need to drop my desire to weigh less.
I just feel like I have a thought that I NEED treats after dinner EVERY night and that it’s normal and won’t hurt me,but now I keep finding myself in feeling so so sick before bed from overeating.
The addictive desire tonight came wiht the second ice cream cone.
I guess I need to focus on working through the desire.
July 7, 2020 at 8:33 am #8385GillianModerator
“do I start introducing the foods I binge on earlier in the day?”
I introduced the idea of eating foods you binge on in Week 6 specifically to break the mindset of perfectionism (all-or-none). From what you’ve said in this post, this doesn’t seem to be a problem for you. Plus, it’s a more advanced technique and it would be good for you to grasp the basics first.
“I recognize that I need to drop my desire to weigh less.”
A first step, but is this the same as actually dropping your desire to weigh less?
“I just feel like I have a thought that I NEED treats after dinner…”
This is your addictive desire to eat, yes?
“…and that it’s normal and won’t hurt me, but now I keep finding myself feeling so so sick before bed from overeating.”
In Week 5 we looked at Addictive Mindset: it’s always there, it’s always going to justify overeating and make it seem like a sensible thing to do, it always tries to con you. The question is, are you going to believe it at the time it’s happening?
“The addictive desire tonight came with the second ice cream cone.”
An addictive desire to eat is any thought or feeling for any food you don’t need. So, your addictive desire came with the first ice cream, not the second.
Maybe you will watch the videos again some time, and take notes for yourself, as there seems to be quite a bit you’ve missed.
July 7, 2020 at 2:27 pm #8394LizParticipant
You’re right, Gillian, I need to watch the videos again.
I’m justifying the addictive desire by saying “oh, I didn’t eat anything this morning, so this is fine.” But, I’m still not hungry for the food, so it’s extra and the addictive desire.
Thank you for clarifying my thoughts.
Sometimes you KNOW things and DO differently, which is so frustrating.
I appreciate you!
Tonight I’m going to a party. I know there will be dinner and dessert.
I’m sure I won’t “need” the dessert.
My addictive desire for treats after dinner is my work to do here.
I’m sorry I can’t get on the Sunday calls. The time change usually is when my 5 kids are awake and we are all doing stuff.
Thanks for your help here!
July 7, 2020 at 3:31 pm #8403GillianModerator
Liz, I wonder if you ever did try eating ‘real’ food during the day at all?
Louise has given you some great advice on that in your ‘Watching my AD’ thread.
July 7, 2020 at 10:17 pm #8411LizParticipant
Thank you Gillian. The help on the other post was awesome.
I do eat SOME good food earlier in the day…
First meal about 2pm with cauliflower rice, stir-fried with an egg, some cheese, avocado. (Good food).
Normal dinner with family about 7pm…whatever I am serving.
Then, binge…usually starting with an ice cream cone, cookie, candy, bowls of cereal until about 11pm
Wake up, exercise, not hungry again until about 2-3pm.
Just today, I made myself eat breakfast of two eggs, some spinach and cheese about 10am. Not hungry at all but I did it.
I also made myself have lunch about 2pm.
I have an outdoor dinner party tonight. My friend is bringing take-out and I ordered a spinach/chicken salad.
I also offered to bring the dessert. I have homemade cookie dough in my fridge I was going to bake. I have fear of having a cookie with the group, but then triggering the A/D and coming home to have more. I almost feel like it’s easier to not have any cookie at all.
Should I make a plan with the dessert part?
Thanks for all of your advice!
July 7, 2020 at 10:26 pm #8412GillianModerator
Liz, I don’t think it will help you for me to tell you what to do; to make a Plan around dessert today or not.
July 8, 2020 at 2:10 pm #8415LizParticipant
Thank you, Gillian, you’re right.
I’m very excited right now because though i did have the dessert that was served, I didn’t go further.
See, when I eat one treat, it usually sends me down the hole of eating ALL THE THINGS until aversion, but I didn’t last night!
I told myself this desire for more was the A/D, and that I wanted to feel good the next morning and to sleep well.
I went to bed! It’s embarrassing to admit how rare it is that I have not gone to bed sick with food. Really!
But I’m awake now this morning and excited about doing that again today because for once I’m not in a fog and woke up easier!
Small and simple changes!!!
July 8, 2020 at 2:28 pm #8417GillianModerator
Good news, Liz.
July 8, 2020 at 3:31 pm #8419lara wParticipant
Excellent thread for me, Liz. I’m a binge eater too. I hate to label it: binge eating disorder, but when I read the symptoms, they fit me to a “tee”. Thank you so much for posting, and thanks to Gillian for being a helping hand and not a crutch. She always leads us in the right direction!
July 8, 2020 at 4:17 pm #8420LouiseParticipant
Sounds like progress Liz! I stay on track by writing down my non weight motivation every day in my journal, and by revisiting a chosen webinar each day. It’s been a sort of full time job, focusing on this method, and is definitely my number one priority because I really want to see the change.
I have found that sometimes, just one or two powerful confrontations with my addictive desire has been enough to change a long standing habit relating to food.
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